Possibly...

... my new favorite blog.

http://thepeacefulmom.com/living-on-less-than-28000-a-year-series/

Assuming Brian can get in on this, live might not have to be so hard financially...

Lets see how long this lasts...

I have got to get out of this funk. Not all of it is really my fault... but it's all on my shoulders which has weighed me down. I'm desperate for April to get here so that maybe I can wean Liam, which will allow others to watch him more. I have so much on my mind, but oddly enough the biggest thing I'm thinking about is Kaylee's birthday. I know. It's in June. At the END of June. But, I think it's going to take me a while to make everything I want to make in order to save a lot of money on decorations she won't even remember. HA! Maybe I'll transfer them to her room afterwards....

I'm Xal Xal on Pinterest for pix of what I'm talking about. Yes, I know.. I gave in. I don't spend a lot of time on there, but it might be the replacement to Facebook while I nurse The Boy. So while on there, I found a lot of cute, easy to do Mickey Themed ideas. A lot of them are in the new pink Minnie, but I like the traditional red Minnie, so I'll probably do that. It doesn't take me long to make tutus. And I'm sure I can find an applique for the shirt... and we already have a few mouse ears. Here's hoping I can take a cake decorating class in April and learn some tricks... I have the ideas in my head, but can't always get them out in the real world.

Other things on my list of positive things to do...

* paint the interior of the house
* organize the garage and create storage
* Finish out the garden... plant said garden
* Build the kids a playhouse
* Spring clean the house and purge junk/trash

On top of being desperate for April to get here, I'm desperate for the end of February to get here... because that is our trip to Belize.

Theory....

I have a theory.. probably not sound, but it seems logical in my head atm. Why don't we, as parents, stop coddling our children. Why don't we teach them how to deal with life... and if we realize (sometimes very hard to do) that we don't have the skills, we reach out for a professional to help our kids instead of just ignoring the problem. This includes dealing with bullies (either because you have one, or your kid is being affected by one), school, peer pressure, major life changes (divorce, birth, death, moving, illness). Lets stop feeding our kids junk. God only knows what companies of processed foods are REALLY putting in our food. Who really knows how this may be affecting our brains and bodies. Maybe.. just maybe... if we spend a little less time bitching and moaning about everything that isn't in our control (haha I'm so one to talk...) things will be better for the next generation. I fear for our kid's futures. I fear for our future "leaders."  Putting a gun in a teacher's hand is not the answer. It's honestly the most absurd thing I've heard lately. Let our teachers teach. Let them TAKE BACK CONTROL of their classrooms. This isn't really about gun control (ban assaults for all I care - shh don't tell my husband I said that..hah)... it's about mental health. Lets move our focus to having a healthier America.

I really wish people would look deeper at this issue. That shooter in CT... he had a mom. And the mom knew he had problems. The mom STILL ignored those problems. I'm sorry, but you don't take your unstable kid to a gun range and teach him how to shoot. You don't keep unsecured weapons in your home. This. Is. Her. FAULT. She ignored very obvious red flags.

I'm living right now with people ignoring my calls for help. Not for me, but for others in my life. It's easier to ignore than to deal and that really infuriates me. I can't do this on my own. I've been asked to. And for the few short days I have dealt, I've reached my wall. My breaking point is here. But I'm pushing on because it's important for this person to get healthy. We need less tragedies in this country. We need our politicians to stop being idiots and work together on a real solution. We need health insurances to stop price gouging. We need people to take personal responsibility for their actions and stop blaming everyone but themselves. We need a smarter America. A healthier America. We need an America that can work together even through the differences.

Amarillo by Mornin'....

Last week my mom, Liam and I flew up to Amaraillo. Liam did wonderful on all 4 flights (2 there, 2 back). I was surprised because well, karma... I've always said (and still believe it), you should never take a child on a plane unless you have to. We didn't HAVE to, we wanted to.

Upon arriving, we were greeted by my cousin who I haven't seen in 20 years and another cousin that I had never met. It was seriously like picking up where we left off.. only we were OLD now. LOL It is a bit bizarre when you last see someone, that's how to remember them. Missy was only 22 when I last saw her. I was 12. Crazy. Stefanie is the daughter of my mother's crazy sister. I've never met her sister and have never had a desire to meet her. I wasn't even sure I wanted to meet her offspring. But, Stefanie ended up being really cool, as were her two daughters.  We are only a few months apart in age and are pretty a like in some mannerisms. It's weird.

Missy's son was 6 the last time I saw him. Since then, Thadd has had 2 kids, an 8 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. The boy is his mini-me. To.The.T. Remember that whole stepping back in time thing? Yea.. I was looking at a 5 year old Thadd. Poor kid will hear that his entire life... His daughter favor's his ex more. Both kids were pretty good. I was impressed because of stories I had heard.

Billy, Missy's husband was a trip... he hurt his abs earlier in the week. When he called the doctor to make sure nothing tore, he told him "My guts just ain't right." Ahhh country rednecks. I thought we had them back in Pflugerville.. heh

Liam was sick the entire trip. That sucked. It sucked more having him get sick on me at least once a day. Safety 1st should be ashamed of their products. Their bulb syringe is a PIECE OF SHIT. There's no other way to say it. My mom ended up going to a minor emergency to get one that actually worked. Kaylee also got sick while I was away - same crud. Fun times.

So, what did we do? Not much.. and that was just fine. We went to Cadillac Ranch and the Antique Mall. Oh and Missy took me to the stockyard for some fresh homemade chicken fried steak and taters. O M G. Other than that, we stayed in and watched cheesy Christmas movies and talked. It was cold, so leaving the house wasn't at the top of my list at all. LOL

Last 10 pounds are the hardest

Back in March, 2011 I started my journey to losing 20 lbs. Then I got pregnant in July. I had only lost 3 lbs. Zumba wasn't really making me lose weight, but I was toning up, so still well worth it.  When I had Liam, I weighed 180 lbs. My heaviest ever. He was only 6 lbs. That's all I lost with his birth. Talk about a disappointment! But, I can't really blame anyone but myself. I had an odd craving of marshmellows, which I gave into any chance I could. I don't even know how they got in the house, but there seemed to always be a bag in my pantry. Gross.

Nursing Liam has been a greater success than with Kaylee. I think that's part of why I have dropped so much weight in just 8 months (really... 7 because I still ate like a pig that first month). I have been watching my portions, not going back for seconds and trying really hard to curb my sweet intake. It seems to be working!

March 2011
Here's the stats:
Weight: 144.4lbs
Height: 5'4"
Approx BMI: 24.7

Hips: 41.75"
Waist: 29.25"
Bust: 33.75"
Thighs: 23.5"
Calves: 13"
Upper Arms: 11.75"
Lower Arms: 8.5"

March 2012
Weight: 180lbs

December 2012
Here's the stats:
Weight: 133lbs
Height: 5'4" 
Approx BMI: 22.8

Hips: 39.5"
Waist: 28"
Bust: 35.5" (heh thanks nursing!)
Thighs: 23"
Calves: 13"
Upper Arms: 10.5"
Lower Arms:  8.5"

I'm actually super happy about this. I'm losing inches where I want to lose inches, minus my thighs. Honestly, if I would just get out there and walk or get back into Zumba, that would go down too. I have 3 months to make my "time" goal -- before vacation at the end of February! My original goal was 120 back in 2011. I revised it to 120-125 this year. And now, I'm going for somewhere in the middle... 123.

Texas Santa

He's (not) done! But, he's as good as he's going to get for now... The white on the ATV is actually chalk. I got tired of waiting for time to finish painting him, so I gave up... for now. A big thanks for the laugh and idea from my friends up in Nova Scotia, Cynthia and Mr. Google. :)~ Every time I look at him, I think of ya'll.

XOXO

Oh yea... we got this!

Minus Monday's school disaster, I'd like to say that Kaylee is officially potty trained during the day. I'm sad that my baby girl is growing up so fast, but at the same time, I'm thankful for no more diapers with her.

She did great at school Wednesday. No accidents! So, I think if they will just keep a little extra focus on her, she'll be fine at school.

Yesterday, I also build Kaylee's bed. She had been sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Brian cut out a bed for her, but for some reason he thought I'd have the time/energy to sand, edge tape/trim, stain and put it together by myself. UHM NO. I might be able to get all that done in the next 6 months, so the bed can be for Liam. It's basically the same thing since we based the design off of the store-bought bed.

So... my next projects are: finish dining chairs (sand, stain and upholster) and build a bed. With two children 2 and under. Ambitious? Oh yea... Impossible? Probably so...

Potty Training... success?

The week before last, I started working with Kaylee a bit more consistently when we were home and didn't have anywhere to be. We started 2 Tuesdays ago since that's a "stay at home" day. There were plenty of accidents, but this time didn't seem as frustrating. She went to school as usual on Wednesday and Friday and did swim lessons on Thursday, so those were more "half" days. Saturday was when we would kick it into high gear. She wouldn't have school all last week and even though we had to travel, I knew I could still work with her.

Saturday, however did not start out as planned. I woke up at 4am feeling like I had been hit by a truck. Needless to say, we stayed in my bed all day. I did work with her and she only had 2 accidents, both my fault for not being able to get up quick enough.

Sunday, my MIL asked to take her. I agreed only if they made it their priority. That didn't go how I wanted and I knew I should have just said no, but we're through it and everything is fine now.

Monday-Wednesday went ok. There were a few accidents here and there. Nothing horrible though. Wednesday after Brian got off work was when we were to travel to the ranch. I cut the poor kid off from her milk at 5 thinking we'd leave at 6. We didn't leave until almost 7. She was dying of thirst. But she made it out there without any problems. Thursday was a frustrating at the end. She went all day without an accident, but as soon as I got side tracked with a family game, she had 2 within 15 minutes. Friday was fine and all weekend she did great. There were several naps and overnights where she even stayed dry.

Today, I sent her to school without pullups or diapers. My little girl really has grown up now. Soon, she'll be able to physically climb up and go all by herself. Unfortunately, she's still too tiny to do that. I'm nervous, but am hoping today goes well. Here's hoping!

Holiday Shopping Events!

Small Business Saturday

November 24th, 2pm - 6pm

1706 Lomita Drive, Leander, TX

In the Vista Ridge subdivision near Robin Bledsoe Park

Join us for an afternoon of fun holiday shopping without the long lines and find fabulous deals just in time for oyur holiday gift giving needs. Shop with Usborne Books, Scentsy, Celebrating Home, Stampin' Up, Thirty-One Bags, Perfectly Posh, Park Lane Jewelry and many more! Also, bring your unwanted, unused gold and sell it!

Next up....

Holiday Shopping Soiree

November 25th, 2pm - 4pm

19008 Marble Glen Lane, Pflugerville, TX

In the Falcon Pointe subdivision off Tolls 45 and 130

Come enjoy wassail, sugar cookies and other tastes of Christmas while shopping some of your favorite small businesses! Usborne Books, Scentsy, Creative Memories, Park Lane Jewelry and Rodan + Fields will all be there. Bring a friend, enjoy a raffle giveaway and finish up your Black Friday shopping on Sunday!

Come support your area small businesses this weekend, either location or both! The vendors are different people, minus my business, so you never know what deals each one will be doing.

Weight loss update

So, I've been doing this weight loss challenge thing with a friend (and others). Normally I do really bad at these.. but this time... I MET MY GOAL. And it's glorious. It's a 12 week challenge, so I try to shoot for 1 lb a week. And I did it!

180 lbs... to a glorious 136. I'm still shooting for my overall goal of 120-125, but if I don't lose another pound, I think I would still be happy. I feel lighter. I feel better. However, I haven't seemed to have lost any sizes in a while. At 180, I was an 18.  This was so depressing for me because my regular size is an 8. I'm down to a 12, but have been there since about 145. So, I'm a bit confused on WHERE I'm losing weight... because apparently, it's not where I need to lose it. Blah.

Either way... only 11-16 lbs to go!

Now if I could just tackle this killer depression I have going on. Grrr..

Usborne Books

Well, the kick off party didn't go as well as I thought. I went by the advice of my uplines and did it on a Thursday evening. The problem is people eat on weeknights when they get home from work and most of the people I invited have young kids, so then there's bedtime... meaning, if I had any chance of having any attendance, I would have had to have it at like 9pm.. which wouldn't work for this sleepyhead.

I did have a few people come and they were truly interested, which was nice. One booked a party and another suggested doing an open house.

So. Here we are. December 2nd.. I'm opening my house up to (hopefully) tons of strangers to come and buy stuff from probably about 10 of us. We are in the process of getting vendors together and have at least 3 confirmed.

I'm making wassail and might have time to bake some cookies. The house will smell like Christmas and hopefully will get people in the buying mood.

But... if you can't wait that long... go.look.now. https://u3109.myubam.com/9669
This eShow will be open until Sunday. Then I'll order and your books will arrive a few days later. I'll even personally deliver them to you if you are in the Austin Metro area.

Mark your calendars... Dec 2nd. Probably 2-4pm. Pflugerville. Come have wassail and see all the fun stuff my ladies have to offer! Christmas shop in one place... it'll be awesome. And you'll be ahead of the game. 

Patio

It was patio extension day here in the T household. I'm so glad this is done!

It's done!

Kaylee's hands and Liam's giant feet. Good grief child...

Day 2... with a blip about the election.

Day 2... I feel perfect. To the point where if I can keep the car today, I might take Kaylee to school. She'll have to crawl into her carseat because I've only been advised to lift Liam - and even then only when absolutely needed.

Today, our patio is also being extended. I'm psyched! I can't wait to see it nor can I wait to put my kid's prints in the wet concrete. 9x9 to 39x9... it's going to make such a huge difference in how we are able to play and entertain back there.

I'm sad for our nation. I'm even more angry about the hateful people that are out there. There is no winner here. Certainly not a good winner. The Obama supports are just like the Aggies - bad sports. The Obama non-sporters are the same. When we start winning and losing and showing good sportsmanship, maybe our country will unite if just a little bit.

As I've always said... we NEED a good President. We NEED him (or her?) to succeed. And while I don't like the majority of Obama's policies, if they end up being good for the country - GREAT. However... he's bankrupting small businesses everywhere. And I have a personal vestment in that. I have a small business. My FIL has a small business. My father has a small business. We are all struggling to keep up.

The economy MUST turn around. Lying and saying the unemployment rate is still 7.8 when it's really more 10.6 is insane. Just because people gave up on finding work doesn't mean they don't count. Bailouts MUST stop. Especially to big corporations.

The biggest thing I want Obama to do is from his first campaign. It was the one thing I liked about him. He said he would go through the budget line by line and eliminate anything that isn't necessary. I get that he can't do this on his own, but his wife has 32 aids. That's not necessary. Move those people to task force team. Give them guidelines and categories. Give them a year. And make them give you a report. We should not be paying for alcohol for parties or meetings or whatever. We should not be paying for private jets other than Air Force One. We should not be wasting so much on welfare. The guidelines there need to be reevaluated. Student's shouldn't be paying 5% interest FIRST before they make their principle payment on government student loans. My interest on my loans is more than my car interest rate. What's wrong with that picture?

Someone posted a picture - she is an Obama non-supporter. The picture was this:

This made me a bit angry. Why must we chose between an educational based TV channel and security? There are so many other choices to be made. Things on our budget that should never be touched unless the money is expanded is: EDUCATION - public schools, teachers, students. Security - our military, border control, police/fire/EMS. Infrastructure - roads, hospitals, etc. But those key things seem to be the first things cut.

The deficit is out of control. Like small businesses, America will soon be bankrupt if things don't dramatically change.

Essure

Today was easy.

It's hard for me to say that because a lot of days just aren't. We woke up, got the kids dressed and packed for their stays at two different grandma's. We drove to said places, dropped them off and then checked in at the surgery center. They got me back early, so I could chill in bed in front a TV I had control over - meaning no election stuff.. I'm kinda over it all and can't wait for the winner to just be announced so we can move on.

I had a fun conversation with the nurse who ensured me she was a good stick. She didn't lie. I told her I loved her. :)~

I watched a few episodes of random shows, then they took me back. Right before we left, another nurse said she was going to give me a margarita via the IV. I told her I loved her as well. These people ruled. I remember getting into the operation room, but that was it. I was out by 11:01. I was awake by 11:45 and Brian picked me up at noon.

Easy Peasy.

I'm in no real pain. And when I say "real" I mean I'm just a little crampy.

I hung out in bed until about now... but now I'm bored, so I'm gunna go paint my Texas Santa. He's ridin' a jacked up ATV and packin' heat. Thanks, Cyn! ;)

Down.

The last week was brutal. Comic con was awesome, but we only got to go one day out of the three. Super bummed about wasting all that money.. but we really didn't know Kaylee would get a stomach bug. That was scary. We took her to the doctor Monday morning and they gave her a shot of zofran. Things looked up after that thankfully.

I will say that out of all the celebs I've met over the years, LeVar Burton is hands down the best. He's hilarious and sweet. He loved Liam. I'm super happy that one of my childhood heroes isn't an ass like some of the celebs I've met. Seriously.

I've been trying to dig myself out of this depression. I signed up to sell books. I'm super excited about it. My kick off party is Thursday. And if I had realized all that would happen before that, I would have pushed it off.

I went to the doctor last week and thankfully, they had a cancellation, so I am gettin' fixed Tuesday. The recovery time is supposed to be super small. Most people go back to work the next day. I'm hoping I'm most people.

Wednesday, the patio guy will be here at 8:30 to start expanding our patio from 9x9 to 39x9. I'm excited and nervous. I cannot find any sprinkler heads where he's going to pour concrete, but at the same time, I can't figure out how the grass is so green there! I'm going to test the sprinklers again tomorrow.

Because of everything happening, I have pushed myself to clean. It's been a long time. I'm super disgusted with myself over how long it's been. I'm almost done.. I think. If anything, the house feels better. I feel a bit better. Now if I could just stay off FB, I'd be fine... why is that such an addiction? And why do other people's posts make me so angry/sad? They aren't even the political ones.. I just hide those... just the random "Hey... just letting you know we didn't invite you to a family gathering but we're still going to show you how happy we are... ya know.. without you." #pityparty... I hate depression.

Blue

I learned something very important.If you are post partum, hair dye probably has to sit on your head much longer than the timing charts on the box. So... it didn't turn out exactly how I wanted... The brown that you see is mostly just the light hitting my hair weird.. but in general, the dye just didn't like my hair. I'll leave it until Halloween and then I'm gunna bleach and start over.. here's hoping I can get it back to brown without seeing a stylist. Hehe

Today we have some firsts. We are going to ride the Austin MetroRail! I figure a 20 minute train ride downtown is much more appealing than a 30+ minute drive and fight for parking plus PAYING for parking. We are going downtown to ComicCon. I have zero interest in this except for one thing....

That's right.. I'm getting my photo taken with LeVar Burton. I could not be more excited about meeting one of my childhood heroes. I was so sad when PBS canceled his show... I hope to buy the DVDs for Kaylee so she can experience the awesomeness of Reading Rainbow.

It's in a book! Take a look! Reading Raaaaaainbow!

My New Job

So, on top of being a stay at home mom, a web developer, and all the other things I try to do, I've picked up something else. Book selling.

Something has to give for me to do this, which will be the web stuff (minus my current clients). But that's ok... my bigger goal in the next 5 years won't have much to do with web stuff, so giving this up - while difficult - is just the start of something newer and better. It doesn't mean I won't still play with code and keep my skill. The bigger goal will need a very intense website, afterall... but I digress because I can't even talk about that yet.

Books.

Books for infants all the way through middle school. Although, I was looking through the catalog and I could see this being for busy adults even - especially the non-fiction stuff. I don't know, but there's something about "true stories" that just gets my interest going every time, no matter the subject.

Here's my shameless plug:

I know I have a few moms who read my blog. I also have some friends who aren't moms, but maybe have some nieces, nephews and cousins that they struggle to buy for. This is for you. (if you are in the US.. sorry I can't sell to ya'll in Canada :( ) The great thing is these books are also super cheap and well made.

The company is called Usborne Books and More. They are educational books and activities for kids. A good bit of the catalog is $10 or less. It seems to depend on the binding that it's available in. There's paperback, hardcover, board books, vinyl and even bath books.

Here's my site: https://u3109.myubam.com/ I'm going to get a custom domain soon, but I'm still brainstorming on what I want. But, if you are someone who still uses IE, you'll need to go through this link anyway. And if there's anyway I can convince you to stop using IE, please message me because it truly is a horrible browser. ;)

There's a lot of incentives since I'm just starting out. So, if you want to humor me and sign up for a home show, please let me know and I can send you all the goodies you could possibly get for being a host(ess)! And that's on top of getting to see my lovely face... Ha!

Reading.

As a mom, I found that I really don't get to read. I take that back, I read... but the books typically start with something along the lines of "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?" Kaylee loves books and I try to read to her often. We have so many books that I've bought over the years that are just "too old" for her still. They are too long, not enough pictures, too fragile to allow her to play with them by herself.

A few weeks ago, I went to a book show geared towards kids. I was super impressed. As someone who struggled through school because she was told she couldn't read, I felt these books were what *I* needed as a kid to engage me a little better. It was the first time EVER that I have actually wanted to sell something. Avon - ehh.. Tupperware - ehh.. Pampered Chef - ehh.. and I intentionally stayed away from Creative Memories because I would NEVER make money with them. I'd buy everything in the catalog. :p

But this.. this is different. And if I can convince Brian, I'm going to sell this. The books are well made, but cheap. They are colorful and exciting for infants all the way through middle school. They are also educational and interactive.

I think not only would I be successful at selling this product, but it would force me out of my comfort zone - The House. It'd force me to meet new people. To talk. To engage. To be happy. And to make a few bucks while doing it? Why not? I have enough mom friends and if they all have just one mom friend, the circle would technically keep expanding.

I have to get my office more organized. Maybe after I dye my hair tomorrow...

Hoping to sign up tonight, then I can say more and maybe convince some of ya'll to have a party. :) And if not, I might put a guilt trip on ya - what? You don't want to read awesome books to your kids? The shame... HA! jk :)

Blue...

This week, I'm more than just blue emotionally. I'm dying my hair blue for Halloween. We splurged and bought comiccon tix, so I figured, why not blend in with all the weirdos there? HA! I was hoping to do it Sunday, but I ran out of time and energy. Tomorrow, I'm going back to my grandparents to weed more of their flower beds/yard.. so, it looks like Wednesday is it.

I'm kind of excited and kind of "Uhh am I too old to do this?" I wanted to go blue-black.. it's such a sleek color that you only notice in the sunlight. But, Brian insisted on a bright punk blue. He's been asking for years... I don't foresee me keeping it blue very long.. maybe a week to get through Halloween... after that, I might try something different, or just go back to my boring brown. Or, I might run out of time and not get to dye it until it fades out.. LOL who knows..

Next weekend, the Halloween decor comes down and the Christmas decor goes up. I promise I won't turn the lights on until closer to Thanksgiving... but it's going to take me all month to decorate anyway with the limited time I have. My neighbors are going to think I'm crazy... Oh well. :)~ I've been itching to see how everything I bought last year will fit with the new house since I didn't get to do a lot outside.

On the Road Again...

My last post was somewhat a cry for help. And I received it. Shortly after I posted, a friend texted to make plans to get me out of the house and moving again. Another friend listened to me vent and blow off some steam. And another friend commented that she's been there and it sucks.

This is why I love my friends. All three are people I don't get to see often -- one in over 2 years!! Ahem.... :p Another lives near Santa (heh) and the other has a family of her own, so she also stays super busy.  But none of that mattered. I grabbed for something out of thin air and received something in return.

Thank you.

This week has been slightly better mentally. I did some yard work for my grandparents. Went walking around the lake. And for some crazy reason, I got the brilliant idea to volunteer for an exercise video because my friend needed a mom. What.Was.I.Thinking?!? Ha! It turned out to be fine minus the part where I was so busy yesterday and so tired by the time I got to bed, that I forgot to shave... eek. Here's hoping those close ups of my feet were far enough away to not see the lovely gorilla legs hiding above them. :p The video went well. There was only one exercise I really struggled on and that's only because he wanted me to do it twice without a rest period. I was a shaking by the end of it.

Tomorrow, I'm going to weed my grandparent's flower beds and possibly their yard if my grandfather will let me. He keeps telling me he's just going to spray something on them, but I really hate putting all those chemicals in the ground. Maybe he'll hang out in his room while I work.....

We are also going to the pumpkin patch after Brian gets home from work. Hopefully, that'll be fun for Kaylee.

I'm digging myself out.. slowly but surely... maybe by next week I can bring myself to do the laundry all the way through..

Depression.

I'm still working through the trauma that was Liam's birth. I thought I was ok until my SILs asked me about it last month. I made it through the story, but cried all the way home. And ever since then, I've been scared of everything. I don't leave the house unless Kaylee needs to be at school/swim lessons, or I need to go check in on my grandparents. I don't exercise anymore (as of June) for a completely off topic reason. This has led to joint pain and muscle weakness, making me pretty pathetic. I have no motivation to do anything around the house. I'm scared I'll become pregnant again, yet Brian continually forgets or puts off calling for an appointment. I'm scared to get fixed because the whole procedure, while fairly simple, involves me going to the doctor... and I just can't face them right now.

All of this popped up in the last month. So now I'm fearing PPD.. or PTSD since it doesn't feel like a typical hormonal depression like I've experienced in the past. I've never been scared to leave the house. I've never been unmotivated to do anything for so long.

Abuse.

It's amazing what you can learn or be reminded of while throwing a garage sale.

This morning an awful argument fired up between a couple in the neighborhood across the street from the garage sale. It scared me - that's how bad it was. I was so close to calling 911, and now 18 hours later I'm still regretting not doing that.

There was no physical abuse that I saw, but the yelling/screaming/cussing and tantrum driving was out of control. The worst part was when the lady hauled out of her garage and driveway, sped off squealing her tires and all.. then came back. For her daughter. Sigh...

Just knowing there was a child witnessing her parents fight so explosively makes me sick. Maybe that's why I can't sleep tonight.. that poor girl is old enough to remember this and every other fight her parents obviously have. It's damaging her more than her parents even care to recognize.

While every married couple has their ups and downs, I just don't see why the downs have to be that extreme. I don't see why the fight can't wait until everyone cools off... the kids are in bed or away... I have no issues talking out a problem in front of the kids, but if it's going to get heated, I like to keep that behind doors. And if you know the conversation won't go well because of all you want to say - talk to a friend for another way... there's always another way... I wasn't really taught how to properly communicate or how to work out a problem without hiding behind a computer monitor. It's something I have to push myself outside of my comfort zone to do. It's hard. And it shouldn't be.

That tantrum the lady threw.. the example she showed her child... despicable. It serves for an important remind to myself. I'm not an even tempered kind of person, but I want my children to be, which means I have to lead by example. HARD. It's hard to reprogram...

I'm not necessarily talking about Brian and I... but more my driving. I'm not level headed on the road. People do THE DUMBEST THINGS. And I just don't understand why. What makes them think it's ok to do what they do that is so very wrong? That's when I lose it. I used to love driving and now I hate it. My anxiety is super high and even higher if someone else is driving me. Kaylee's school is 5 minutes away, pretty much down the street. Yet, I wish it were closer. Walking distance, perhaps... Same with the grocery store. Anything so I don't have to get in the truck/car...

Satisfied.

Today. I decluttered. And it felt glorious. Liberating. Anti-hoarder-ish.

I took a 2 car garage full of garage sale stuff over to my cousin's for the O M G YARD SALE!

Seriously.. that's what we called it. My cousin also had a 2 car garage full of stuff. And my friend had a car and a half full. Needless to say, we had a lot of stuff to sell.

When we were setting up yesterday, a few of the neighbors stopped by to pre-shop. And they had cash. Before we shut the garage doors for the night, I had already made $40. I was giddy. It was a great start. I was so giddy, my insomnia swooped in and slapped me in the face. Thank goodness I was already planning a SBux run in the morning. Trenta, anyone? HA! Just kidding... although it was discussed.

5am arrived way too quickly. I packed up the last of my big items that wouldn't fit in her garage, fed Liam and hoped Brian would hear the kids on the monitor when they woke for the day... Then I was off for coffee and breakfast. I hafta say, I was looking forward to ChickFila, but they weren't opened yet... Whataburger "Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit"... UHM YES PLEASE. That thing was amazing.

Shortly after we opened for business, a lady with a truck stopped by. And bought... and bought... and bought... and we really hoped she wouldn't stop. This lady was also THE.BEST.TETRIS.PLAYER.EVAR. Seriously. She got a travel stroller, swing, crib, walker, exersaucer, fake tree, bike and a huge box of misc items. Her cab was already full and she had a baker's rack in the bed. How she got it all in there, I have no idea.. but I clapped when she got the tailgate closed. :)~

I did have a small truck load worth of stuff left by the end. Things I knew I could sell at the resale shops or CL. The rest is going to donation. Nothing really wrong with the stuff, just that we didn't need it and I didn't care enough about it to want to mess with it ever again. Plus, not bringing it back to the house ensures that neither Brian or I won't drag it back into use.

I may have even picked up a new client and he may be my new pest control guy... heck, if he can do it for $50 a quarter, he's already saving me $400 a year. Keep the fire ants away, and I'll be satisfied.

Everyone did really well. I made out well enough that I can now book my SNUBA expedition in Belize. And we will have cash for food while we are there. Here's hoping my clients pay on time, cuz then I'll be able to pay cash for the resort. I'm so excited about this trip.. and even more excited that it'll be paid for before we even leave. :)

Now to recover... it took a lot more out of me than I thought it would. My whole body aches from exhaustion. I napped while Liam slept this afternoon. I'm hoping to go to bed shortly after I'm done here. Exhausted, but, with a great big smile on my face. :)

PAINT!

The color swatches on the computer aren't a very good match, but it gives ya an idea...

First up, we have MINK. This will be our office.

Next, our bedroom - DUSK. Dark, yet romantic/cozy. It's a good combo with the wood color of our furniture.

And from our bedroom, we enter our master bath with FLAX. This is almost a perfect match for a color in our tile. I can't wait to darken the room up a bit to make it feel more cozy and less gigantic.

This is where the colors are really off. This is "light silver sage". It's not really this blue... it will be in the insets we have in the entry and dining room.

This, believe it or not, is technically lighter than the color above and not really this green. It is "silver sage" and will go on the accent walls in the living room, as well as in the dining and entry way.

This is the pattern I'm considering for the other 2 walls of the living room/breakfast area. The walls a a light beige flat right now. So to do this pattern, I would take the same color, but do a different finish, probably semi-gloss or eggshell. This will take a little trial and error to get it just right to where it won't be annoying.

 

And finally.. the worse color sample of all because it's no where near a gray color like the actual paper swatch shows - SLATE.. Liam's bedroom. Because of this color and all the other colors in the house, I will probably reconsider Kaylee's bedroom color, which was still up in the air.. but the color was going to be super bright. I'm just not sure I want that anymore.

We need 13 gallons of paint. OMG.. insane. But, if you think about it.. it's pretty much the entire house.

Before I went into RH, I noticed that ZGallerie has an actual store. And it is amazing! I saw so much stuff in there... but... it was this living room set that really caught my eye. I didn't even know I liked this kind of stuff until I saw it. The shape of the sofa is really neat. I think it'll go well in our house. So, maybe next year.. :)

And then these I found at IKEA, so they might be a contender for tables in the living room.

I can't believe I actually have a plan!

THOSE Kind of Parents...

It took a long time for me to want children. I was scared of so many factors that are not in my control. The society is not a pretty place. And with the internet, I think there's too much information out there of "what's best" and "how to raise your child." With that knowledge, people find themselves telling you how you should be doing things without even asking for their opinions in the first place.

It's frustrating. And I haven't figured out a way to politely tell people to STFU. :)~ I'm not one to not ask for help or for other people's experiences. I like to hear what works for other people - just on my own terms.

So, when I enrolled Kaylee in preschool, I didn't know I needed to know how to deal with other parents. I never thought in a million years that someone would see ME as their go-to person to gripe when there's 30 other parents around. Why me? Is it because I have the youngest/smallest kid in the class so they know I'm dealing with some issues myself? I don't know. It's not something I have talked to any of the other parents about. I've been communicating with the teachers.

Today, I got stuck at the preschool after I dropped Kaylee off. Two beautiful dogs were running around the parking lot and I felt I needed to catch them. With my 6 month old in tow. Thankfully, I had a rope in the truck to use as a leash as we called the owner. This is where I got backed into the corner with another parent. Her kid has been bit repeatedly, which would upset me a great deal, too.. but I don't see what her kid has to do with my kid. My kid is being growled and roared at. She's scared of the boys in the class. Am I running to everyone telling them? No... I'm trying to get Kaylee to realize there's nothing to be scared of... they are just boys. I wanted to tell her to tell her kid just to bite back. I mean, seriously... if the biter is biting her kid all the time, why can't you teach your kid to stick up for himself? (biting probably isn't the best solution... but eye for an eye, eh??) :p I do think the biter should be removed from the class for the day after he does that, but that's my opinion... and until my kid is bit (not likely.. she doesn't play with the boys), I just can't worry about it.

When I went to pick Kaylee up from school, the mom stopped me AGAIN to tell me about this 3 page email she sent to them. Why can't this situation be dealt with between the parent and the teacher? Are all parents this psycho?!? And how do I get her to back off me? I have two little kids I'm trying to wrangle. I don't have the time or the energy to be friends with this woman. I now avoid Target because I've seen her there twice. Once she saw me and was telling me how I should buy pullups.... LOL Lemme tell ya.. it's saving me some money by not going there anymore!

Home Depot... My Toy Store

I have a shopping addiction to Home D. I rarely use my credit card from them, but they just sent me an offer I can't refuse. 0% interest for 12 months. There are so many things we want for the house that we just can't get because of the up front cost. But, break it down into small monthly payments? Oh yea.. I'm there!

* Gutters.
* Rain Barrel for said gutters.
* Garden Shed (which will also be the only shed until we can afford to pour the real shed's foundation)
* Stain for the concrete patio (which will hopefully be poured by the end of next month!!)
* Paint for the house -- some colors I have figured out, so why not buy them now so when I can paint, it's there...?? :)~ Most recently, we figured out the office. It shall be dark chocolate brown. Yum! And perfect for a web developer and a gamer. Who needs good eyesight anyway? :p
* Playscape accessories - for when we can have it built
* maybe... a bird bath, because we love watching wildlife, even in our own backyard..
* Flagstone -- I really hope they have this in stock... I want a lot of it for pathways.
* Hose Reel -- because I'm tired of almost mowing over the hose.. seriously.. it's such a first world problem.
* TREES... if they have what we want, we are totally getting them... but last time I went they had almost nothing. Boo.


I'm super giddy. This gigantic trip will most likely involve both our vehicles and a babysitter for the kids. But for $100 a month, I think it'll be well worth it!

Scrap-a-palooza

One day I was talking with one of my scrapping buddies about how we both just needed to get away and scrap. No kids. No husbands. No distractions. This is where planning commenced for a Ranch Scrap Weekend. Overall, it went beautifully. There were no kids, no husbands, but lots of distractions - aka hay bails... and Zeek.

Who needs Wipeout when you can make your own crazy course?

Do you see Zeek?  He's our zombie that we use as target practice.

When I said no distractions, that didn't mean people wouldn't try to find cell phone service. It's hit or miss out there. Here's Chrissy on top of my truck trying to upload her video of her jumping the hay bails. I am trying to figure out how to link it here because it's pretty goofy.

Easy, no mess lunch! We all ate outside where it was a beautiful 79 degrees. It was PERFECT weather!

There's something about the Epic Woman Room invading the Epic Man Room that makes men a little uneasy. My FIL was super stoked we were going out there though. The husbands, on the other hand, while excited, might be a tad worried that we may take some of their hunting weekends away to come to the ranch ourselves. ;)

Can you tell that she PAINTED those curtains?? They turned out SO awesome. Oh yea, Hi, Lindz! (Do you see her?) :p

There were 8 women out here scrapping, painting, sewing and pretty much doing anything that is "Suzy Homemaker/Crafty." And what Suzy Homemaker is complete without alcohol? I mean, c'mon.. no housewife back in the day seriously got all that done and stayed sane without a bit to take the edge off, right? My SILs made super yummy 3-types-of-liquor-cinnamon-milkshakes. DIVINE. We also had a variety of other liquors. Needless to say, we were all super happy Friday night. Not drunk. Just happy. It was perfect.

Preschool Chaos!

Kaylee started preschool last week. I expected the first week to be chaotic, but I didn't expect the hurdles we had to jump through to make it through the second week.

I will say, my nerves are shot! I've never left Kaylee with anyone besides family or one close friend. I knew that leaving her with strangers would be difficult. But, when those strangers showed how disorganized they were, I really became worried. I try to keep in mind that is a first year program. I try to give them a huge learning curve as they get things set up. As long as my kid comes home healthy, happy and with no super bad habits, then I can live with those bumps.

Sunday night I received an email. It said that the 2 year old class had a student resign, which made it too small. So, they were going to move the 2 year olds to the 3 year old class. This wouldn't have made me uneasy if my 2 year old wasn't 26 months old. If she were, say... 32 months old, then I think it would have set a little better for me. Kaylee is also between the 5-10% for her age. So, she's tiny! Now, that doesn't mean she doesn't have a huge personality or that she can't tell you exactly what she wants. But, still...

So, I get to the school Monday and find that it was the 3 year old teacher that quit. She stated that her 2 year old wasn't adjusting well. UHM. I am calling BS on that one. I observed Kaylee's class for 30 minutes at the beginning and the end of Wednesday and Friday. Her kid was just fine. Now, maybe not so fine during the day.. but she didn't give him a chance! I think she just didn't realize how hard teaching 9 three year olds would be and she didn't want to do it anymore.

I talked to the admins at the school who said that the 3 year olds were "young 3s", meaning they had just turned 3 in the last 6 months. Uhm... lets do the math. That makes them a year and half older than Kaylee. That means they will turn FOUR while Kaylee is still 2. I'm starting to question whether they understand how big of an age gap for young kids that really is. Not only for verbal skills, but dexterity, size, and other developmental skills. The three and a half year olds that I know can read and write 3 letter words and their names. Kaylee is NOWHERE near that. The most she can do is draw a circle, which she just started a few weeks ago.

I'm a wreck. Next Wednesday, I'm going to go observe. And I really hope I like what I see. There are more pros than cons, but the cons are kind of big ones... like the size difference. As well as habits. Kaylee has already pushed my next door neighbor's kid, which she's never done before. So, I worry that she's being crowded at school. She went from a class size of 3 to a size of 11. YIKES.

I'm pretty sure this is why I've had a headache all week...

Meal Planner...??

I need help finding a good site! I'm looking for a calendar that will tell me what I'm to cook. If you click on it, it goes to the recipe. I also want a grocery list. It would be awesome if they had a mobile app that you can access your list from - but I want to do all the nitty gritty stuff on my computer. It'd also be awesome if they had a nutrition guide.

I thought I found something I would like. But, the calendar is pre-filled and then you can customize it. This wouldn't be an issue except I ended up adding all of my recipes and deleting theirs. On top of that, it only allows one meal per day. Uhm... we don't always eat 3 meals, but we do eat at least 2! Ugh.  So, I gave up after creating a week of one meal a day.

Loaded Nachos
Pizza
Enchiladas
Loaded Baked Potatoes
Spaghetti and meatballs
Egg and Bacon Sandwiches
Bacon wrapped Salmon

Ok.. so there's several things wrong with my list. One -- where's the veggies and fruit?!? Two -- OMG THE CARBS! They are going to be the death of me. But, I'm not a very good cook. These are some of the things I don't suck at (minus the salmon.. that's totally a Brian thing..).

I have recently found that I can make a fruit salad out of frozen fruit. I had searched high and low wondering if you could do this and everyone said no. Pfft... It tastes fine to me! So, maybe I'll add that to my meals. Lately the produce hasn't been stellar, so I have been passing on a lot of my regular choices. The salmon recipe I found came with a spinach salad and I know we won't eat an entire bag of salad in one meal. Still...

Along with this list, I am planning to make soup. Two kinds. Black bean and lentil. I've never had lentil soup, so I hope the time won't go to waste and that I'll love it. Both recipes are freezable, which I love but we're going to run out of freezer room soon, so it'll have to go into the rotation... maybe lunch?

The Day My Daughter Started a Life of Her Own

It's crazy to think that now, my 2 year old, has a life of her own. One where I don't know every waking detail. One where she isn't with family. She's with a teacher. And other kids her age. 

We left early because I wasn't sure how long it would take us to get there. There are 3 schools I have to drive by - all in one school zone, which blinks almost all day. It took us 12 minutes to go 1 mile. I felt like I was in Houston again.

As we got out of the truck, she began screaming "Shelley!!! Shelley!!!" It made me smile and cry at the same time. I love that she loves her teacher. But, I'm so sad that this day came so quickly. I talked to her teacher for a moment and then left. Kaylee didn't cry. She did, however give me a kiss, which I was surprised by. Typically, she refuses unless it's on her terms.

In the parking lot, I shed a few tears. My baby girl isn't a baby anymore. 

I came back a little early so I could watch her interact. It took me 5 minutes to get to the school. Weird. Anyway, she was hoppin' around playing. I snapped a few pictures while she wasn't looking. I love how she's the only one willingly sitting. Everyone ranted and raved about how she was their favorite. How she is the sweetest thing. And how she was very tired and would pass out soon. HA! My child, nap?!? I was hoping she'd fall asleep on the way home, but that didn't happen. Nor did she fall asleep when I put her to bed. I wish I had that much energy...

While she was gone, I came home and worked on a client's site. Then I cleaned the office. All while Liam happily played in his bouncer.

The one good thing about her going to school besides the obvious is that my house will soon be decluttered and clean! I just don't have enough work to keep me busy all 20 hours she'll be at school and/or napping/resting. But, I hope that will change soon.

September 5th, 2012

This will be a huge day. HUGE.

Kaylee starts preschool. How is she old enough to go to school?? Nevertheless, I'm ready. She needs more kid interaction. I need more one-on-one with Liam.

I start working again. I pretty much quit when I got pregnant with Liam because of my issues. I've been chomping at the bit to get back to it. My Mac has been updated. I am now sporting the latest version of OSX, Mountain Lion and I signed up for Adobe's Creative Cloud, which for a mere $50 a month, allows me unlimited access to the latest versions of all the programs I need. This will pay for itself well before I hit the $2400 mark to buy this version outright. I imagine there will be a new version release before then.

I'm also going to put it out there that this is the day Liam will crawl for real. He's So.Close. I'll try to post a video soon. He does this scoot-hop and can pretty much get to wherever he wants to go... eventually. He's so little, which makes this so much more adorable and heartbreaking. Liam turned 5 months old today. Why is he crawling so soon?? I think it runs in the family. I crawled at 4 months. My poor mother... at least she didn't have a toddler to run after.

And finally, this will be my first night out in a long time. I stopped going to Zumba for a number of reasons. I miss it and want to go back.. I just can't right now. But, I'm taking a few hours and going to the residence club with my neighbor to drink wine and eat chocolate. It's just too good to pass up. We can stumble home on the hike and bike trail together. :p

Building a fort

I left him on the mat to the left... and when I got back from making lunch, he was there, chasing the toy cat.

Silence is Golden...

Unless you have a toddler.

I saw that phrase on one of those cartoons people post on FB. It rings so very true. Needless to say, my house is rarely quiet. The kids tend to take naps at different times, although I'm working on getting Liam on a more regular nap schedule so he can sync with Kaylee's afternoon nap. He typically takes 3 or 4 naps a day, but they don't usually last very long. I'm hoping to get him down to 2-3 naps so that maybe he'll sleep a bit longer during them.

Today, while nursing Liam, Kaylee had her first "hit" on the potty. I set the baby down, who began crying almost immediately, to praise her for a job well done. I had tears in my eyes from being so happy. She received high fives, a handful of M&Ms (I told her 2, but didn't have the heart to take away the extra 3 she grabbed), a sticker to put on her potty chart and we danced around like little fools. It was great. :) Then we called Daddy and her Mima to tell them the good news.

In other news, I'm still uber tired. Sleep is not coming very easily to me. I'm starting to gear up to start working again. Last night, I did some preliminary stuff and will start coding later next week to get my site back up and running. I have a few jobs in the hopper that I hope pan out. 2 are trade, but the rest would be paying gigs, which we ohhh so need. So, if you or anyone you know needs either a web site, updates to a web site or search engine work done, please send them my way. I work quickly and am a lot cheaper than the companies out there.

My work hours will be M,W,F 9:30a to 12:30p and every week night 8p-10p (probably later, but that's as late as I want to take calls or reply to emails.) 

I've decided that we're going to hold off on Liam's swim lessons until January, which means he'll be 9 months old and 4 months ahead of when Kaylee started. I'm super excited to see if he surpasses her milestones just by starting him a few months earlier and not having any breaks. They have a $25 admin fee every calendar year so starting him in October doesn't sound like a good use of time or money. Plus, with the holidays, things will be hectic enough.

Anyway, that's it for now.. off to clean, then maybe back here later for some more work stuff. I'm so excited! September 5th cannot get here soon enough. :)

Preschool

Today was "meet the teacher day." I was super nervous about meeting not only the teacher, but the kids and their parents. Kaylee will be one of 7 kids in her class. Kaylee will also be the only girl. And the youngest. And the only one not potty trained. But, because of a recent post I just read about not being negative on your blog... I'm going to try and find the silver lining in all of this.

a) She's the only girl -- meaning, she'll learn to stick up for herself instead of being pushed around.
b) She's the youngest -- but also still on par with the almost 3 year olds in the class. I was impressed by how well she fit in.
c) She's not potty trained. This is probably what I'm most excited about. The teacher is going to work with her, but also seeing the other kids not in diapers should help as well. I'm hoping by December, we're done with diapers. But, of course I would love for that to be much, much sooner.

I like everything so far about the school in the big picture. The things I don't like.. well, I think that just comes with having your kid in a different environment for the first time. Three days a week is starting to seem like a lot of time away from me, which does make me sad. But, the silver lining is I'll be able to have a good bit of quality time with Liam, just like she had.

Kaylee is super excited. She has been asking to see "teacher" ever since we got home. Occasionally she'll use her name, but I suspect she'll call her "teacher" for a while. It's pretty darn cute.

Ok.. I lied.

This will be the final update for a while. Only because we hit what I think is pretty big milestone in training. Dryness. This has never happened. But today, she stayed dry through her nap, which I had to wake her from after 4 hours. Then again for another 4 hours when we went to my dad's. Now... in between that? I had her sit 3 times. She did nothing. But the second I had to get something out of the truck, she peed a lake. So, I know she's not sick or anything like that.

I never thought I would be this talkative or excited about pee. Ahhh motherhood...

Day 5... last update for a whlie...

Today, I have not been so vigilant. So of course there has been no progress. We skipped the panties altogether and just went with the pullup. She's still practicing with/without, so that's good. I think I'm going to carry on with this route for a little while. The more I think about it, the more I think I need to talk to her teacher and see how they might be able to help me. She'll start school in a few weeks and since she'll be a young 2 year old, this might be an advantage. All the kids needed to be 2 by September, meaning they could have easily turned 2 in October of last year. So, I suspect there will be a few trained kiddos in her class.

I'm also hoping that her finger sucking will break as well. She does it more as a habit during the day than anything else. I don't mind if she does it at night/naps. But, I'm kind of over it for during the day. It isn't as cute on a 2 year old as it is a little baby, especially since she is getting into everything, so keeping her hands clean has become a challenge. 

Day 4.

Still. Nothing. No hits.

Now.. that doesn't mean we didn't make a tad bit of progress. She's still super excited about sitting there, which was not the case the first time we tried. She pretty much hated me after day one that time. I thought I would give up if we didn't have any hits today. But, I'm starting to think that if we just keep doing what we're doing, even if there's no hits for weeks, she'll get it sooner than if I stop altogether.

And it could be that I'm confusing the hell out of her. I only bought 1 pack of panties. It's all I honestly had time to hem so they would fit her. And her panties are as expensive as mine! How is this so?? (ps.. yes, I wear cheapies compared to a lot of women.. lol). And even then, I barely got it done before she needed a new pair. Today, we had so many accidents that I couldn't get them cleaned and dried fast enough, so back in the pullups she went. UGH.

I also broke down and found the cheapest potty I could find. The reason? We had one close call yesterday. I just couldn't get her there in time. She literally peed while I was running with her. Again. Double UGH. This might have been the best thing I could have done though. She is now getting all of her stuffed animals to use the potty. She sits on it regularly by herself. Sometimes she takes her pullup/panties off, sometimes she doesn't. I praise her for trying either way.

So... on to Day 5, which will be tricky because we have swim lessons and later on dinner at my dad's. My dad has a potty because of my nephew when he was training, so I may ask him to move it to the living room so she can continue her little routine.

I'm so much less frustrated today than I was yesterday.. and the day before... and the first day. I'm still in a bad mood though, but it is starting to have less to do with this.

My next question is... what happens Sunday? I am supposed to go to church with my grandmother. We'll be there pretty much most of the day. It's a huge celebration for the church hitting 75 years. I went from pretty much birth to 15 and then on and off til 18, so thankfully I know the church building well. Do I take her potty with us and just leave it in the bathroom? I don't *think* anyone would mess with it.. Lord, I hope not... or do I just put her in a pullup and not worry about it? This whole leaving the house thing during training kinda sucks...

Days 1...2...3

I decided to take a different approach this time. Day 1 was spent at the store and lots of talking/showing to get her excited about everything. We used pull-ups the first day but they are just like diapers. I don't get it. So, I now just use those during naptime - have to use them since I already spent the money on them. We made zero progress this day and I really think it was because of the pull ups.

Day 2... training underwear. I had to take them all in so they wouldn't fall off of her. This was an endless cycle of accidents/wash/dry, repeat. No progress.

Day 3... also known as today. She told me twice that she needed to go, but I didn't get her there in time. Two more times, she told me as she was going. We are now at naptime. She is refusing to go to sleep, saying she needs to go potty. I'm at a loss... do I bow to her demands (I did once but she did nothing), knowing that she really won't go? Or do I leave her in there hoping she'll go to sleep? I'm wondering if I should just give up the diapers during naptime as well.. but I know that's a huge mess waiting to happen.

We have yet to have a "hit"... maybe later this afternoon things will progress at least a little. I'm super sick of all these stories on the web talking about how their kids have all these signs - the exact signs Kaylee shows - and how easy everything went. Where's the horror stories? How long are these people really trying? Are they lying when they say the first day ended with only 1 or 2 accidents?

The laziness in me wants to give up.. but OCD in me wants her to get the idea down by the end of tomorrow so we can leave for swim lessons in panties instead of a diaper.

Potty Training... Take 2

We have nowhere to be until Friday morning for swim lessons. And since she's been asking to sit on the potty again, and doing so willingly, I figured it might be worth it to try again.

Liam is on a more regular schedule and I am suspecting a growth spurt, as he is sleeping a ton. This also makes timing good.

The only thing I'm worried about is school. She starts her class in a few weeks. So, at what point is "too much change" really too much? Because our lives always have changing going on...  so if I keep putting her off, she'll be 10 and still in diapers. LOL I kid.. I hope...

On top of the bottomless method, I'm giving in and throwing in rewards. I have a sneaking suspicion that it's how my inlaws are able to get her to go. My plan is to get her up, sit her on the potty and explain to her that we are going to the store and why. Then, we shall go across the street to the Dollar Tree and I'll let her pick out some goodies. And while she's not paying attention, I'll grab some M&Ms, because I think that's what the inlaws give her.

I'm not so much desperate as I am tired... and for some reason, I have in my head that after we get through the hard part, things will be easier. I still think she has been ready for a while, but again.. the change... last time we tried I had a new baby in the house who was constantly nursing. Here's hoping the 2nd time is the charm.... :p

PS: anyone know where to find 9-12 month panties?? Because 2T will fall right off my no-butt child... yes, I'm serious. My 2 year old is still in 12 month pants. But, that's with a diaper, so without, she needs an even smaller size. EEK!

Scrappin'

Since Kaylee was born, I haven't been able to scrap very often. Here and there for a few hours at a time, but it's really like 3 or 4 times a year. Since I had Liam, I was afraid I would never be able to scrap again. I brought this up to Brian, who insisted that I make time. But in reality, I'd have to leave the house to really be able to concentrate.

That's when a friend of mine told me Archivers reopened. Woot! So, I'm going to my second Scrap Mania tonight and I couldn't be more excited. Especially since they have a big coupon out right now.

Since I was running out of embellishments, I have been on the hunt. Well, another friend is getting out of the scrapping business altogether. I'm super sad for her, but she has a really busy life with 4 active little girls. I bought a good bags worth of stuff from her the other day. I'm super excited to use some of this on my upcoming pages. She had a ton of eyelets, which will come in super handy with my brand new tool - the Crop-a-dile. My next door neighbor gave me one after I showed a ton of interest in hers. This thing is NUTS. But, it takes the hammer and setting tool out of the equation, making setting eyelets virtually silent. Score!

Next month, I'm hosting an overnight scrap-a-ton. 24 hours of scrapping at the ranch. If you don't want to scrap, go sit on the deck and chill... walk around and pet the donkeys... you could try fishing, but I don't think there's anything worth catching in the tanks right now. Anyway, the point is to scrap a ton, get away from the house/kids and have a fun girls night. I'm super stoked! So far there are 9 of us going. I had no idea I knew that many people that scrapped!

I'm almost caught up with Kaylee and will soon be able to move on to Liam. Problem is, we've lost our mailbox key, so I can't access my pictures that just shipped. :( I'm so irritated because I never move the key and now it's just gone... ugh.

Home Improvement

I was raise where if you can do it, you don't pay others to. If you've never done it, look for instructions and figure it out. And for the most part, I'm good at home improvement kind of stuff. I can build things, fix things, etcetc. The one thing I've never messed with though is electrical.

When we were at the old house, we had a fan go out right before we were to move. This wouldn't do. I couldn't, in good conscience sell a house with a faulty fan. Who wants to move somewhere and immediately have to fix stuff? Not me... do unto others...

Well, I was newly pregnant and everyone was treating me as a delicate flower, so I was kind of forced to call an electrician to replace the fan. The fan cost $39.98. The labor to install cost $75. I was SO.MAD. when I got that bill. And since then, I became even more determine to fix things that seemed reasonable. My motto is kind of "If I know my dad can do it... so can I." And I know my dad has installed ceiling fans before.

When we bought the new house, it only came with two fans. In the master and the livingroom. The other bedrooms and media room only had a light fixture. This is not cool (ha!) during Texas summers. I was finally able to buy 4 fans. And today, I installed my very first ceiling fan. Because I was a little nervous, I read and reread the directions over and over to make sure I understood. I double checked and then checked one last time with each step. So, the first fan took me an hour to install. The only thing that stumped me was when all was said and done, the blades would not move. I could hear the motor, but that was it. Turns out the directions were missing a very important piece of information.... Remove the rubber stoppers. Ugh. Oh well. After I got that done, everything went fine.

We now have 3 of the 4 fans installed. A friend was bored and offered to come help. This friend also has 9 years of electrician experience. So, I promptly hopped off my ladder and allowed him up. He installed the other two fans for me. I have one more to do, which will be on my own, but I am so much more confident in this now.

Installing a ceiling fan is EASY. I'm almost still mad that we wasted so much money at the old house...

The Journey Continues...

I'm very excited to announce that I have hit a big milestone. I'm half way to my weight goal. I'm 10 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight, which will be my next goal. I'm 15lbs away from my "pre-Brian" weight. And 30 lbs away from my overall goal, which may vary by 5lbs depending on how I feel once I get close.

I haven't exercised much in the past month. Things kept getting in the way. Walking is near impossible as it's so hot when we get going that I don't want to subject the kids to that. If the long parts of our walk didn't face the sun, I would probably have a different stance... but unfortunately, the streets are mostly W-E.

On top of everything, my supply has dropped some. Liam is cranky a lot, so I've picked up the pace with all the things you can do to increase supply. Continuing with that... his 4 month checkup went like this: 11.6lbs and 24" tall. Or.. in doctor's terms, 2% and 5%. UGH. Kaylee was also tiny, but there's only been one boy in our family that has been this little. So, I think just the anxiety of it all hasn't helped me. Knowing that the reason he's cranky is because he's still hungry makes me sad. I did supplement with a bottle yesterday just to get him feeling better, but I don't have much in reserves, and I know bottle feeding won't help my supply... so here's hoping I can make it to my first goal with Liam... 6 months. And then my 2nd goal... 9 months.. and my final, ultimate goal.. 1 year.

And now on to the exciting news.

Kaylee starts school in FIVE WEEKS (Sept 5th). I'm super stoked. Super sad. And super anxious. I will have 12 hours for all sorts of things. I can clean my house (hehe)! Liam will start swim lessons in October. I can start WORK again. Brian is so excited that he's given up his gun allowance for the year so I can upgrade my software. Awww!

I have a huge project that I'll be working on. It'll take years for it to get off the ground, but it's something else that I'm really excited about. I hope it works out because if so, it could set my family up for a nice, comfortable lifestyle once we break even and make a profit. It'll also give me a bigger purpose in life. I know that sounds awful, but I was not meant to be a SAHM. It's not that I don't love being the one to raise my kids. It's that I am a workaholic. The one thing that I got from my dad was my work ethic. And it truly makes me stircrazy when I can't get things done that I want done NOW. I need that in my life to feel successful. Awful. I know. But.. it is what it is.

Bathroom Redo

Paint, thankfully, is cheap enough that we can buy some here and there. It can make such a difference. And fortunately, I only wasted 1 gal. I'm still upset by that fact, but it's a neutral color, so I hope I can sell it.

I'll start with the simplest project first... the kid's bathroom. I envisioned a bright, yet modern space that had a kick of playfulness, but didn't seem kidish. It is the guest bathroom as well afterall. I started with searching out artwork. Kaylee has recently become obsessed with Mickey and Minnie Mouse. I love that. Black and white with a dash of red? Uber modern in my book. Compliment with a bright color background and voila! This bathroom practically did itself. While searching, I found that the artists were super proud of their stuff. It kind of makes me mad because they are just cartoons. Super simple to draw. So, that's what I did. I found a couple I liked and drew them out, then colored them with markers. That's the only irritant I have. I couldn't find my prismas to color them properly, so there are color lines... but it's not that bad.

After I found the art and got that taken care of, I searched out a nice bright background color for the walls. I decided on a few blues, then let Brian pick the final choice. This way if he hated it, it was his fault (ha!)

 But, in the end... I love it. It turned out great, imo! I'm going to get some black hand towels, then it'll be done.

On to the harder project... the powder room. It's a smaller space, but took a lot longer to do.

 

While painting the ceiling, always wear protection... :p Little did I realize, I probably should have worn my glasses because I got paint on my eye lashes. EEK! Way too close for comfort.

 

Ok, so here I'm wondering what the heck I got myself into. It looks like I've just mudded drywall. LOL

 

 

The taping off too forever. I started by the door, but learned a few hours later that I should have started on the wall without any obstacles. It went much faster once I did that. This is also where I wasted a gallon. The darker color that I originally got was just barely darker, so you couldn't really tell I had done anything. I'll be damned if I'm going to do all that work for just a little pop. So, I went back and got a shade darker than that. It ended up being a little too dark, but there was nothing in between. I still really like the effect though.

 

Voila! I *LOVE* it. I'm planning on doing a plate collage with B&W and teal plates and above the toilet will go Mr. Mannekin Pis from Brussels. As soon as I find the teal plates, I'll post that.

Why?

I've been thinking about all of the people affected by the Colorado shooting and everytime I think about the victims, I come back to one question... Why? And unfortunately, it's not the same question of Why that others have... it's the not the question of Why did he pick that night? Why did he target a theater? Why did he booby trap his apartment? It's a more selfish question of Why... a question I've held my tongue on, but have lost sleep over... so to clear my mind, I'm putting it here.. on my blog that not many people read. And hopefully those who do, I don't offend or upset.

Why would you take your 4 month old to such a loud movie? I get cabin fever. I get depression and the need to leave the house. But. I would never take my babies to a theater at a) midnight and b) to a movie that isn't specifically designed for them... meaning volume level and content. Meaning, it'll probably be a few more years before we make a family trip. It honestly infuriates me that someone would be so irresponsible and then go on national TV to tell the world how thankful you are. If you weren't there, it wouldn't have affected you. UGH.

So, then we get to the rating. This is not a kid's movie. Who in their right mind thinks that? It's rated PG-13. Does anyone even care about ratings anymore? So, why was a 6 year old there? Again... UGH.

It makes me sick that parents take their young children to such loud movies. I can maybe get past the content... it depends on the kid. But, it's the volume level that bothers me the most. Maybe it's because I have hearing loss from listening to things way too loud - particularly music, but I wouldn't doubt movies have a thing to do with it too. I rarely go to theaters anymore because my ears just can't handle it.

There's my rant on that... I'm sad for all of the people involved. I hope the shooter has his day in court soon so justice can be served swiftly.

On to my next rant... I'm hiding a bunch of people on FB. Mostly for their ignorant posts. Lets clear something up. He owned the guns LEGALLY. So, for Gods sake.. stop posting crap saying "legal gun owners don't do this and that..." That's not the complete truth unfortunately. MOST legal gun owners are responsible. MOST don't go on homicidal rampages. But, of course it only takes one (or a few) to get everyone up in arms about gun control. There should have been a red flag on this guy's address for the ammunition alone. No one individual needs 6,000 rounds in a few short months. Another red flag should have gone up when he bought 4 weapons in a month's time. If anything, maybe there should be a system in place that records people's activity for a year. There should be caps on how much you can buy in a short period of time. But for cripes sake, don't take responsible gun owner's rights away. People who want guns for harm will find a way to get them... look at gangs and other criminals.

It's time for bed... a happier, less crabby post will follow on my bathroom painting jobs. They turned out pretty nifty. :)

Recap...

So, since I got a smart phone, I've been on my computer less and less, which means I don't make time to blog near as much. Resting while taking care of Liam is much easier with a smart phone... He sleeps better on me and while I don't let him do that often, it's hard to say no to that little gummy smile. I'm able to log on FB and check my mail, but that's the extent of what I do on my phone since I'm smart phone stupid. :p

Anyway, so in the last month, Kaylee turned 2. I turned 32. And Liam turned 3 months. The party was super laid back just how I wanted. I baked cupcakes in flat bottom ice cream cones, which were a hit. Then I got some "swirls" (often called pinwheels) from Target. Those were an even bigger hit. And I made my signature punch of lime sherbet and 7up. The kids played at the splashpad for a while, then we sang happy birthday, ate goodies and everyone went home. No fuss. No muss. It was great!

I've been working on the house a little bit. I bought paint for the powder room and the kid's bathroom. The first coat in the powder room is up. I'm going to try and do the second coat Wednesday to finish it up. No idea when I'll get to do the kid's bathroom, but at least I have all the things to move forward if I happen to have a half day to myself. HA!

Brian is going to Alaska next week to fish. The hope is that he'll bring back 110 lbs of fish for our freezer. Om Nomnom! I'm hoping for lots of salmon and halibut. The ling cod was good too, but we didn't care for the rockfish last time and ended up giving a lot of that away. Then in September, he's going fishing AGAIN. This time on the Texas/Mexico border. He'll be shooting for snapper and red fish. I love these trips that he takes. It doesn't cost a lot for him to go down south and thank goodness for airline miles for the north trips! Hunting season also starts in September, so he'll be good after the birds and the deer.  I *love* not having to buy meat! Plus, he gets the experience with his friends, who also get in on the bounty.

In February, we are going to Belize. I went back in 2006 and fell in love with the country. It's 3rd world, but that's part of what makes it so spectacular. I tried to convince Brian to go for our honeymoon, but he wouldn't have it. So, 3.5 years later I finally talked him into it. We'll be going to Ambergis Caye and staying at Tranquility Bay. It's supposedly the only resort in Belize where you can walk out into the water, dunk your head and see the reef. I'm super excited about that since Brian isn't a big "get in the ocean" kind of person. He plans to fish, which the chef will cook your catch for a mere $12! Not too shabby... It's a secluded resort, which I'm kind of looking forward to. The only way there is by boat. I'm also hoping to make enough at my Fall garage sale to be able to go snuba'ing. I had never heard of this before, but it's basically scuba diving and snorkeling rolled up in one. No tank, but you are connected to a regulator that is attached to the boat. I'd love to go to the Blue Hole, but I don't think I'll make enough for that.  We'll see.

So, that's what we've been up to lately... yay... if I had more energy I'd post pix, but I'm drained. Time for a quick nap, then on to meet some friends for an afternoon of eating and drinking. :) I love girls night out. They happen way too rarely.