If I could only remember...

As my due date quickly approaches, I have started thinking about things I have missed out on in the last 10 months... things that I may have even forgotten how to enjoy... I can't wait to get back into the swing of things. While I understand that can take several weeks, months or longer - I know that one day, I'll feel "normal" again.

I can't wait to be able to run if I want. Not that I ever really ran before (stupid knees), but just knowing that if I need to, I can. And I won't risk hurting myself (stupid tendon). Being able to walk a longer distance than to the mailbox would be nice too...

I wonder what it's like not to waddle when walking. I've been waddling since about 4.5 months because of my tendon. Then James fixed me a few weeks ago, but I still find that I waddle - probably more so cuz Kaylee is sitting a little lower because I'm really not that big. (pic is 39w5d)



I want a beer. More specifically, a DosXX with lime. I also want a glass of Reisling. And a mudslide. Basically, I want to be an alcoholic for the day and just get plastered on every drink I would have had in the last 10 months. I don't drink THAT much, so I should be able to handle it all in a day... :p

I miss being cold. Seriously... I have never been this hot in my life and I live in Central Texas for Christ sake. The AC is set at 74 and I'm still hot, but I'm more afraid of the electric bill than being hot, so that's as low as I'm going to set it. Normally, I would freeze to death... 79 or higher and thankfully, Brian likes it like that too.

I miss working. I haven't been unemployed this long since I was 10.. seriously. I was either babysitting, or working at the church, or had a "real" job. I miss my career and hope that once things regain a little normalcy that I can get back to it. Right now I just don't have the energy or the brain power to truly connect to my clients. It's not fair to them.

Spicy foods... how I crave thee... but how utterly mean you are to me within the first taste. I miss the jalapeno eating contests with my little brother. I miss hot salsa and chips. I miss jalapeno poppers. Rotel tomatoes... And fresh ground pepper on everything. I hope I can soon enjoy these tasty delights again.

Juice. Really? I can't even drink juice without it trying to kill me? While my water intake now is great.. I really miss a big glass of cranberry juice.

I miss my energy level. For someone who was always on the go, coming to a complete halt was THE hardest thing about this pregnancy. I know I complained about being sick and in pain and blah blah blah... but not being able to vacuum or stand long enough to do the dishes or laundry drives me NUTS. I am glad, however that the days of me being winded walking to the truck from the front door are over. I hate feeling like I'm being lazy. And for the last 10 months, that's exactly how I have felt.

I can't wait for "normal."

39 weeks, 2 days

I'm basically 5 days away from my due date (it's night time, so I'm pretending it's the 21st...). And at this point, there has been no progress, which has been frustrating. Our next appointment is Tuesday. My doctor has stirred up a bit of chaos, which Brian and I will not tolerate. She has scheduled her vacation for the weekend of July 4th and that following week. This is fine if Kaylee is here by then, but seeing how I asked her at week 20 if she was planning a vacation around the holiday and she said no, I'm a little irritated, as I could have changed doctors. I'm not as irritated that her plans changed though because in reality - she's just there to catch. The nurses do the majority of the work. I'm irritated that to convenience her, she wants to induce me on June 30th. A whole 4 days after my due date. She also tried to use scare tactics to get us to go ahead and make the appointment. a) the mortality rate goes up after 40 weeks... b) if you don't get an appointment booked, there won't be any left...

She must think we're real idiots. :)~ First of all, my original due date was June 30th! So, there's room for error right there alone. Secondly, the mortality rates go up a little after 41 weeks and double after 42. The reason? The placenta begins to break down. And guess what, folks! There's a simple way to find out how everything is doing in there... ultrasounds and stress tests. Lastly, she said during the week 33 ultrasound that Kaylee was a little small, but there's THREE WEEKS to play with there, so it's all good. C'mon, lady... who do you think you are fooling?

I do not want to be induced unless it's medically necessary. The complications and possible c-section aren't anything I want to deal or think about at this point. I know I have been miserable the entire pregnancy, but my selfishness for wanting this child to be born a little early will never override her coming on her own when she's done "baking."

A friend of mine whom I work with in the freelance world offered up her husband's services. He practices Chinese medicine and is an acupuncturist that works on a lot of pregnant ladies. I've been in for 3 treatments so far and here's the results:

* heartburn - GONE
* reflux - GONE
* tendon pain - GONE
* morning sickness - almost GONE (I've had 2 episodes in 7 days... that's the smallest number of times I've gotten sick in a weeks time since week 6!)

Basically... I should have done this a lot sooner... LOL My energy level, however does still suck. But, I'll take whatever relief I can get!!

My next treatment with him is Tuesday after my doctor's appointment, in which he plans to push a little harder with the intensity. Hopefully, I've shown some progress at the doctor's... I know she's moving A LOT right now, but I haven't noticed any "dropping" of my tummy or any more pressure than what has already been there, so I'm not holding my breath.