Note to self... that I'll just put out there... :p

If you have something serious going on, keep it to yourself. You never know the reactions of those who are not remotely close to the something, which will inevitably just cause more stress and headaches instead of doing what most logical people will do and send their thoughts/prayers and maybe offer to make you food. I'm seriously *this* close to deleting myself off the internet and canceling my cell phone. Good grief.

Monday's Horror Story

I'm still kicking myself because well, that's what I do. I had planned to call my grandparents again Monday early afternoon. I had called earlier that morning, but they didn't pick up. Instead, I went shopping for sheets for Kaylee. So while shopping, my grandfather had a major stroke. I found out later that afternoon once my dad got him and my grandmother situated. Kaylee and I went on to swim lessons while all of the chaos was happening. I feel so horrible I was there to help. She blew bubbles for the first time though, so that was good! :p

How it all happened was amazing. He was on the phone with his sister in Corpus. He wasn't able to speak. She told him "I can't help you from here. You need to lift the phone up so (she) can come get the phone."

My grandmother came and got the phone, still not understanding what was going on. His sister told her to hang up and call 911, he's just had a stroke. Sure enough, he had. How did she know to recognize something like that on the phone?!? Just blows my mind, but I am so thankful she knew what was going on and that he was able to lift his arm. If those 2 things hadn't happened, he would not be here today. It was a "20" on the stroke scale, which is severe.

They did surgery late afternoon to remove two clots. It was successful and done under the time they estimated. He'll need another surgery to finish up some repair that they couldn't do, but they have a temporary fix right now that will be good for several months. There's approximately 15% damage, which as of Monday included his entire right side and speech. Tuesday morning, he suffered a seizure. All the scans are coming back clean, so we're glad that didn't cause any permanent damage.

Since the immediate family came together and decided to start limiting visitors, and explaining to the ones we were allowing to keep it short and sweet, he has improved dramatically. Much better than I anticipated. As of today, he has use of all four limbs. The right side is slower, but it's getting better. He recognizes everyone so far and smiles/nods/shakes his head when you talk to him. He was not happy about Dallas winning the football game today, so I know he's comprehending things as fast moving as football (with no sound, mind you) well enough to understand.

The best thing was he laughed. It has only happened once, but it was when his best friend was picking on him like the good ole days, which means it was on command almost - very intended. Some things he's done hasn't been on command, so that had us a bit concerned.. but I think we're making our way over that hump.

He should start rehab next week and I think if he can find his peace with the fact that this is going to suck and be hard, he'll do well. He's a fighter. The nurse today thinks he'll regain his speech and mobility if he gives it time and patience to relearn. In the meantime, we're all concocting ideas on how to give him the ability to communicate with us - simple sign language all the way to an iPad so he can type what he wants.

My grandmother is starting to realize that this isn't going to be an easy road. She seems to be taking that ok. It's going to be a huge adjustment for her once he is home. But, there's so many friends and family and neighbors around that have showed so much love and concern that I don't think she's going to have trouble finding help. ;)

At this point, I do ok while visiting at the hospital. I try to be there if my aunts/uncle or dad can't be so that I can listen to the nurses/doctors with my grandmother. She's only hearing what she wants to hear, so we've found we have to reexplain things to make sure she really gets what is going on. By the time I get home though, I am emotionally exhausted. I think given that he's improving much better and faster than I anticipated, I'll probably be able to handle all of this a bit better soon. But right now, I'm not doing so hot. Here's hoping we can get over this hump and on to the next accomplishment, which will be swallowing and walking.

Keep us in your thoughts, please...

Thanksgiving

So, while I don't log onto Facebook often for my own person need to gab every detail of my life, I may check other people's because I'm nosy. :p This month apparently there was some thing going on where you tell what you are thankful for each day. I didn't have the need or desire to do that. Some of the responses from others were sweet though - very thought out. I'm just not that deep.

But, after Monday, I decided when I had a moment of child-free and life-free second, I would write down a few things. Not sure I'll get to 30, mostly because Kaylee could wake at any moment but we'll see.

1. I'm thankful for Kaylee.
2. I'm thankful for Brian.
3. I'm thankful that the major stroke my Papa had Monday didn't take his life. I'm sad it took his voice and right arm though.
4. I'm thankful to be able to stay home so someone else doesn't have to raise my child.
5. I'm thankful for a mostly healthy pregnancy.
6. I'm thankful that, while not pretty, crying relieves enough tension when I'm overly stressed to keep me moving forward a little while longer.
7. I'm thankful to have friends and family who really care about me.
8. I'm thankful for this outlet. Being a SAHM can be very lonely.
9. I'm thankful for my ability to use pent up energy/anger/emotion to clean. :p
10. I'm thankful for my need to weed and mow the yard - it's very therapeutic!

I'll try to finish later...

Quick Photo Update on SD

So, upon arriving at the Zoo, I asked if there were any tours that featured the Pandas. The lady lied and said yes. Except, I didn't know it was a lie until about 30 minutes before the tour was to end. It ended up being ok though. I got to spend 2 hours being driven around and getting "backstage passes" to go behind the scenes of quite a few animals.

This is Danai. An 18 year old tiger. Tiger's life expectancy in the wild is about 2 years. Crazy. The entrance to the back of the exhibit was also back here. We got to take a peak through the gate. The tiger on the other side was none too happy to see us and kept jumping up attacking the gate. This was my signal to step back and start heading back to the cart. HA!

We saw the hippos and elephants and a few other animals up close and personal. I really enjoyed hanging out with the giraffes though. Such awesome creatures. This was the last exhibit on the tour. After this, the tour guide actually drove me to the pandas so I didn't have to walk. Sooooo nice of her!

Proof that I actually was there! :)

It was naptime for all of the koalas. They are so adorable! How they don't fall out of the trees is beyond me. The branches look really thin.

I was at the Zoo from 8 to about 4pm. That was plenty of time for me to run out of adrenaline and realize I was completely and utterly spent. I went back to the hotel and did nothing the rest of the evening.

I didn't do a whole lot on Thursday. I just kind of wandered around. Went to Belmont Park, which has a roller coaster. The park was mostly closed though. I walked along the beach, but the lifeguard truck kept following me and getting in the way of pictures, so I gave up and left. Seriously, just worry about the idiots surfing and swimming in the 50 degree water, would ya?

The best food I ate was at the Red Marlin, which was on the hotel premises. Other than that, I wasn't impressed with the Italian or Mexican food I ate. I might be a Mexican food snob though... you would think being pretty much a border town that it wouldn't be so dry though! Plus, everything being 2 to 3 times more expensive - ugh... it definitely cut down on how much stuff I could buy to bring back. Oh well.. I don't need anymore stuff. :p

The last morning I was there, I went to La Jolla Cove. This was pretty cool. There were a few tidepools with some anemones in them, but that was about it. It was the seals that I got a kick out of. They are funny creatures. It was too foggy/cloudy for me to see the sunset the night before which was one of the reasons I decided not to go then. The other reason is the chaos I had with the rent car.

All in all, the trip was great. Very much needed. I think I stayed a day too long, but after coming back to no real help at the house, maybe I didn't stay long enough... sigh. This week is "train Kaylee to sleep on her new mattress" week. The first nap took an hour to get her to lay down and fall asleep. This was after going back and forth reassuring her that it was ok and it was time to sleep. I finally just laid down with her, put my arm around her and she conked out in 5 minutes. I suspect her crying hysterically for the prior hour helped wear her out a little more too. Now I need a nap....

This is what I think of not being on vacation more often....

So, the San Diego Zoo was AMAZING. I'll write more when I have a bit more time to myself...

Dear Fate Gods,

Please let tomorrow hurry up. Also, please don't let the planes crash. Please let all of my bus rides go smoothly and please don't let my rental car blow up. Oh, and it would be extra awesome if you don't let me fall off a cliff somewhere or get kidnapped by the Mexican Cartel that is a few miles away from where I'll be. :p I'm really not sure I can take any thing else going wrong. I need an upswing STAT!

Regretfully SOOOO over this weekend,
Me.

San Diego

So, it's happening! I'm leaving Tuesday morning and won't return home until late Friday night. I'll miss my baby and husband greatly, but I need a little respite before the next one arrives. The thing about me and traveling is I'd rather do it alone. It gives me a break from life. I can do whatever and go whenever I want without having to rely on someone else agreeing to my hairbrained ideas/plans.

Here's what I have planned:
Tuesday, I'll get in and to the hotel around 5:15pm. I imagine I'll be exhausted, so I don't have much planned for this evening. In fact, I bet I end up in one of the bar/lounges for dinner.

Wednesday, I'll get up and leave the hotel to be at the bus stop by 8am so I can head to the zoo. The first exhibit will be the pandas, then I'll work my way around and probably come back to them by the end of the day at 5pm. I suspect that after a day of walking, I will end up back at the bar/lounge for dinner. :p I may be a bit predictable on this trip!

Thursday, I'll get up and head to the Spa for a Natural Mom massage. 60 minutes of pure relaxation. There won't be much on my plate from 10:30 to 2p, but if I feel like going somewhere, I might hop on a bus to go to Old Town for some shopping. I need to be back at the airport to pick up my rental car by 3p. From there, I'm driving to La Jolla Cove to watch the sunset. Ahhh, more relaxation! :) Since I'll have a bit more freedom with the car, I will probably find somewhere other than the bar to eat dinner.

Friday morning I'm off to Point Loma. The only thing that I'm a bit bummed about is that the tide is supposed to be high, so I might not get to see anything. I'm going for the tide pools and the light house. After that, I'll need to eat, so I'm off to Little Italy. I found a 5 star review online, so here's hoping! The prices are great, too. I'll have a few hours to burn before I have to be at the airport to leave, so I might go to Gaslamp Quarter. We'll see. I need to be at the airport by 2 or so to head back home. I'm sure I'll be ready to come back by then.

SO EXCITED! I have more maps and itineraries printed than I know what to do with.

Quick Photo Update of the Kid

Reading the paper in the morning

I know I'm cute, look out mom!

OOOOO!!! These things are fun!

What is this "walking" you speak of? I only know one speed and it's called "running"

Awww, family pic

I sometimes eat with a fork instead of my fingers. Sometimes.

First haircut - what is that stuff she's blowing on me??

All better!

Impromptu Vacation

By.My.Self.

While I would LOVE Kaylee and Brian to come with me, I need a few days all by myself before I'm chained to have two young kids to care for.

So here's your hints of where I may be going if things work out.

And, I leave next week!

Why Michelle Duggar and Halle Berry Make Me Sick

For some reason, I remember when Halle Berry was pregnant. There was an interview with her where she said she wished she could stay pregnant forever. That's just how much she loved it.

Screw you, Halle. Screw YOU.

We never hear about the celebrities who had horrible pregnancies. This puts an unfair picture on the whole thing. Ya know why? Men don't get it. So, they look to whatever information they can get and see that ask fact. It's not fair. When I don't feel good, the proper response isn't "You never feel good...." it's "Let me get the baby ready for the day so you can rest a few more minutes."

Then we move on to the woman who has the clown car vagina. She wants to see how many babies she can push through it. Ya know, because GOD wants her to.  Again, puts an unfair light on things. Next thing ya know, my husband will be asking for a 3rd and 4th kid. When will we stop?!? (I'm done after this, btw... hehe no worries there - already shot him down on those requests).

Here's my prayer for the day week month year.

Dear Lord,
Please send Michelle Duggar into menopause. The world is overpopulated enough without her adding to the problem. Plus, those poor kids! Having to raise their siblings... that's just awful. Give them some of their childhood back.

Amen.

Ok, so I may not be in the best mood while writing this blog entry. I apologize. :) I just really suck at being pregnant. Back in October, we had like our umpteenth ultrasound which suggested that the SCH had resolved. But, the tech is not allowed to really say anything - even though she does. We were told that the doctor would review and give us a call to let me know whether or not I have been cleared from restrictive duty, or if I need to continue sitting on my butt all day. (While that sounds nice every now and then, it really blows when you have things to do and a toddler to chase). So we wait. And wait. And wait. No call. Not even on the blood tests about whether the kid has any malformations. I start to worry - What if they don't want to call me because it's bad news so they want to control the environment, ya know in case I were driving when they called or something.

So, by now, my kid has Downs, Tri18 and the SCH has grown to quadupal it's original size. I hate my mind sometimes. Seriously.

We had ANOTHER ultrasound yesterday. Brian called and said he couldn't get out of work on time to be there. I almost lost it. Who would be there to hold my hand when they told me the awful news?!? I had to do this alone. When the receptionist asked how I was, I started tearing up. I wanted Brian there.

The appointment was at 2. Of course, they waited until 2:40 to take me back. Building suspense. It's their game plan to see if my blood pressure would stay normal while being a complete basketcase.

I tell the tech I'm not in a good mood, but I promise she's not why. Just if I start crying, not to worry. When I tell her why after she asked, she leaves the room to tell the nurses to get a doctor on my test results now because I wasn't leaving until I knew what was going on. I feel a little better. She starts the scan. She still doesn't see the SCH. I start to relax a little more.

Then, she says what I wasn't even expecting. The baby is breach.

GDI! Why can't anything be easy??

I tried to find the silver lining. If we can't get it to turn, then I'll have a c-section. That sucks. BUT, I can get FIXED during it! Now, I'm excited. LOL

The midwife said not to worry about it right now. They'll monitor it and at 32 weeks, if the baby is still breach, they'll work on turning it. Here's hoping it isn't hell bent on staying breach. I honestly, really don't want a c-section.

Tomorrow, I ZUMBA! The first time in months. I am excited, yet exhausted just thinking about it. But, I have to find a way to keep my weight somewhat under control. I have gained 9lbs almost every month! I'm only 20 weeks. If I keep this up, I'm going to be as big as a house by the time I deliver.

I didn't make it....

until Sunday... Christmas decor is already finding it's way into the house. If I thought this through, I would be taking a nap since I'm exhausted. But alas, here I am. And the crazy thing is, I'm staring at the entire rack full of just Christmas decorations and I'm thinking "This isn't enough..."

I may have a problem.

Hoping it's a fluke

But, I fear this is the beginning... only 21 more weeks.... of heartburn, sciatic nerve pain, back pain and insomnia because of all of the above.

Woot! Can't you just hear my excitement??? :p

I suck at being pregnant. I don't see how anyone could possibly enjoy this. I still give Halle Berry the evil eye when I see her picture.


And to make my job even more scary, as soon as Kaylee's mattress comes in (next weekish), we're taking her out of the crib. I don't think she's ready, but I physically cannot lift her in and out of there anymore without hurting myself. I can get Brian to help in the mornings and at night, but naps are what kill me. I figure by the time the baby comes, she'll be used to it. As of right now, if I put her on the bed, she thinks it's the best jungle gym ever! Pillows, fluffy blankets! And doggie, doggie!! Her bed will be boring, however... no pillows... no blankets... only her glow worm. And, it won't be any fun to jump on since it'll be a memory foam one. Muwhahahahaa mean Momma!

Christmastime

It is taking everything in me NOT to pull out the Christmas stuff now. And the only valid reason I have for waiting until Sunday is I have a party here Saturday that probably shouldn't be overshadowed by Christmas throwing up in my livingroom.

In other news, Brian had a brilliant idea last night. One that I am thrilled about. It's something I've always wanted to do, but it's not something I can do on my own. Definitely a group effort. We want to build a haunted house for next year. So, today, which was already planned, I went cruising around town for clearance Halloween decor. And I hit the jackpot! It'll go great with the lights and decor I already have. The rest of the decor will have to be homemade, which means, I really need to get cranking on it now. Lord knows as soon as I have this baby, there will be no time for me to paint, cut up and design.