One box a day....

So far this is going really well. I wasn't able to do this a few days this week, but other days I was able to get 3-5 boxes unloaded, so it all evened out. The guest bedroom is filling up quickly with things to sell. I'm quite excited! I also remembered that we have stuff in storage at Brian's work -- facepalm. BUT, we haven't seen or used that stuff in over a year, if not longer, so I'm hoping it can all go.

Next week is MAY, which means June is just around the corner... :)

Sigh... of Relief

I just paid the full balance of our credit card for the first time in over a year. There were so many big things that popped up, it was just impossible for us to do until now. Thank you tax return for allowing that to happen! Now.... on to building up our savings again. :)

An un-sigh of relief... I think Liam is colicy. The gripe water seems to help, so that's a plus. I had Brian go to the store late last night in order to get some. Kaylee was in a better mood last night. I think the talk Brian and I had about her yesterday and our plan to do more to try and ease whatever stresses she is having at the moment seems to be working. He played pretty hard with her after he got home from work. It's the most I've seen her laugh and smile in about a month.

I can't believe Liam will be a month old next week! All of my days are blending together. Sleep still hasn't come easily, even when he's sleeping. He still nurses constantly, but the doctor said that should even out when he's about a month old, so I'm really hoping that's the case! It would be nice to be able to get the dishes done and maybe clean the tile.

I have a goal... clean out one box a day. We never really unpacked everything. We just hid it from the world. Yesterday, I unpacked my vaseline glass and put it in my curio cabinet. Now, I need to gate that off because Kaylee wants to be over there exploring -- eek! Today, I hope to get my chaise cleared off. I suspect that means I'll move it from one side of the house to the other though. In the process of unpacking, I'm sitting back and thinking about whether or not we really need whatever it is that has been in a box for over 6 months. Can I sell it? If so, I need to price it and p ut it in my garage sale pile.... which should happen in June. So excited about that! And hopefully, I'll be able to pump enough for Liam to be on the bottle that entire day. Hopefully, I'll be able to get him to take a bottle in the first place. 

She's gone...

Where did my sweet kid go? Seriously, it's like a switch just turned off and I have the Devil's Spawn. Kaylee's been testing boundaries since about 18 months, but all of a sudden, it's gotten so much worse. Melting in the floor. Screaming. Hitting. Not listening. Running away.

While I want to suspect that it has to do with the baby, I'm not so sure. She hasn't shown any interest in him since he came home. When she needs something, I get it for her. I play with her and tend to just about every need (that she can't do herself). Not much has changed in her world as far as how much attention she gets. Or maybe I'm missing something... Maybe even though she's not getting any less attention, the attention the baby gets is driving her nuts.

This week was the week I decided I needed to get out of the house and try to live life with both the kids. We went grocery shopping one day. That went ok. I definitely can't make a huge run though, which means I'll probably have to go every week, maybe even twice a week. Yesterday, we went to Walgreens and to a friend's house. That also went ok. But today... OMG... shoot me.

We have family pictures scheduled for Sunday, which means I need to figure out what everyone is going to wear now just in case I need to pick something up to complete an outfit or two. Brian needed shoes... Liam needed an entire outfit... I needed an outfit... Kaylee needs sandals and I would love to find Liam some little booties. Kohls had sent me a 30% off coupon, which is the highest they offer and the only time I'll shop there. So, my first stop was to the resale shop. I wanted to find Liam a little polo and some jean shorts. The polo was a success, the shorts - not so much. The entire time we were there, Kaylee ran around like a little idiot. Screaming if I tried to tame her. So embarrassing. I met Brian up at Kohls. He found shoes. I found a dress. That experience was mostly ok.

No sooner do we get back in the car and Kaylee has a fit. Her fit continued through lunch and now into her nap. I'm beside myself. We have tile, so I'm concerned she's going to start banging her head on it. If either of us ask her to do anything, she runs away or melts into the floor screaming. The only way I've found to get her to listen is to tell her bye and walk away. But, if I'm in a store, I can't really do that. Same in a parking lot.

I'm *this* close to just not leaving the house with both kids again. It was so much less stressful. Maybe I just went out too soon. He is only 3.5 weeks old...

Sick Week

Monday, we took Liam to the doctor for his newborn Monday afternoon. The Piglet was up to 7lbs, 6oz. Yay cluster feeding and constant snacking! I do hope his feeding schedule evens out soon. I'm awfully tired...

I love my pediatrician, but I hate the fact that they don't have a Well and Sick waiting room situation. It's all one big space. Well, I feared this little kid hacking and sneezing would get one of us sick. Sure enough... Brian and I both got sick. Liam was a bit snotty and had a cough here and there, but nothing too bad. My mom went back home Tuesday morning, so I got a full two weeks of help. The anxiety of having to take care of two kids alone hit Wednesday, especially since I was still blah.  Just as we were getting over it, Kaylee got her first fever. I did manage to get it to break Friday morning, but man... seriously?

I guess the moral of the story is even if you don't think you can... do it anyway. Happened with Liam's birth. Happened this week with all of us being off-kilter. It may not be pleasant, but amnesia will kick in and let you forget about it soon. :)~

Soapy Baby says....

What?!?

I am fightin' mad!

All better!

First baths are always fun.... :p

Why I love breastfeeding

I'm down 14 pounds since March 31st. WOOT!

47 pounds to my goal.... 27 to pre-baby weight. Too bad I am still on light duty and can't exercise for another 5 or weeks. It'll happen though. I know it will. :)

Jinx!

So, right after my last post, Lil Buddy decided that cluster nursing all day and night was the way to go. The definition of cluster nursing though is nursing constantly for a few hours and then sleeping for 4-6. He seems to have forgotten that because the child does not sleep for more than 10 minutes at a time. We can typically hold him off for 20-30 minutes, but after that... he's back on me. He also refuses to nurse if his diaper is dirty. We've gone through a huge box of NB diapers already. I fear what this kid will cost us in the future if he's already sucking us dry with just the expense of diapers. HA!

The good thing? He's awfully cute...
The bad thing? I've had a headache for 3 days because I'm not able to sleep much at all.

Survived... with help

Liam is one week old. Time flies when you are sitting on your butt doing nothing because the doc has you on light duty for 2 weeks. UGH. I think this has caused a bit of a problem with feeding though. I hold him a lot of the time, because... why not? But, he cluster feeds all day, so I'm exhausted from that. He doesn't like going to other people much either.

The good thing about this past week is Brian and my mother were here to essentially wait on me. I haven't had to cook, clean or change many diapers, which has been nice. Granted, I feel a bit worthless when I'm not allowed to do anything. Brian will go back to work tomorrow. I'm not sure how long my mother is staying.

Kaylee is showing a few signs of jealousy, but we are trying to include her in as much stuff as possible. I've gotten to have a bit of alone time with her, which has been nice. She wasn't phased by Liam until yesterday. I guess she's figuring out that he's here to stay.

He's a sweet baby... for the most part he sleeps at night and only wakes to nurse twice. So, I guess I'll take the not sleeping a bunch during the day for that.

Today is Easter. It's also the first Easter where Kaylee is old enough to egg hunt. And I'm missing it. Brian took her to church this morning and then to my grandmother's. I hope he gets some good pictures. I'm really sad to miss this, but there's no way I'm taking a 1 week old to a place with 30 people. Sounds like trouble.

My anxiety finally let up around Wednesday. I've been a bit more calm since then. As long as I don't think about it, I'm ok.

Movin' on to week two....

Nightmare Almost Came True

Ya know how I was all "Gawd, it would suck if this kid's nickname was Toll 45?" Well, that almost came true. In fact, if this story took place on a weekday, it would have for sure.

Friday night I was having trouble sleeping, like usual... I think I fell asleep around midnight. At 3:30, I was awoken by what I figured was another round of 2 hour contractions. Mild, almost painless. However, this time they were really close together. Like 3-4 minutes. Still though, they were just barely there. This went on for about an hour. Then all of a sudden, there was a shift and they became really painful. Almost hard to breathe through. I went and sat in the tub for about an hour. I think if I could see the future at this point, I would have woken Brian, loaded Kaylee in the car and left for the hospital. But, I didn't. I sat in the tub for about 45 minutes. At this point, I did go get Brian. He timed the contractions for about 20 minutes before we decided we need to get going.

While he got the bags together and tried to wake up, I went and sat on my exercise ball. Ohhhh what an awful idea. Next thing I know, my water breaks. Now, panic sets in. I really thought I was going to have this baby at home. I hurried Brian along. He got Kaylee and we left for the hospital. Once we leave our neighborhood, it's pretty much all highway to the hospital. I had to gently remind him that the speed limit was 75... not 50. GOOD GRIEF MAN DRIVE! I really don't think he was fully awake yet.

I called my MIL and told her to meet us up there to get Kaylee. When we got to the hospital (7:30am), I had him drop me off at the door. There's nothing worse than having the doors locked while you are half naked with a towel between your legs screaming at security to let you in because you were in labor. The even more fun part is walking through the waiting room... UGH. I hope those people never see me again. I certainly won't remember them.

Once I got into the maternity ward, they figured out that I wasn't registered. This was BS. I have the email saying I was. WTH. There's waste of time #1. They wheeled me back to a room where the nurse had to essentially register me AGAIN. Waste of time #2. Sometime during all of this, Brian arrived to take my hand and start answering the questions so I didn't have to waste any more energy on them. I did, however start asking for drugs.

They gave me some weak ass shit that didn't do much. I specifically had asked for Stadol and the epidural. Why they gave me the other stuff is beyond me. It only gets worse from here though...

The contractions continued to get stronger and closer together. I continued to cuss, beg and cry for drugs. My doula did finally arrive, but at this point, she was just there to hold my hand... my mind was not focused properly to listen to anything she was saying. The anesthesiologist didn't arrive until after 4 phone calls later. It was 8:45am by then. She seemed to be taking her sweet time getting things lined up. I know this isn't something you want to rush, but OMG, where was she 45 minutes ago?!?

By this point, I should have refused the epi. I knew the baby was coming. I couldn't physically say that, but I could feel it. They should have checked me, even if I was refusing, to make sure that it wasn't a pointless procedure.

This is where I freaked out. I begged and cried some more. This was the worst thing I have ever been through. I wasn't mentally prepared for an unmedicated birth. I wasn't prepared for the trauma it would do to me physically. And if it hadn't been for that last contraction, I don't think I would have gone through with those last few pushes. I was frozen until then. Frozen in absolute terror.

At 9:08am, March 31st, Liam Albert made his way into this world. He weighed 6lbs 15oz and is 20.5" long.

It's now 2 days later and I still shake with anxiety. I'm a nervous wreck. But, I know deep down in the big picture, we're all ok. If I can just wrap my head around the good stuff, I'll be ok...