Nightmare Almost Came True

Ya know how I was all "Gawd, it would suck if this kid's nickname was Toll 45?" Well, that almost came true. In fact, if this story took place on a weekday, it would have for sure.

Friday night I was having trouble sleeping, like usual... I think I fell asleep around midnight. At 3:30, I was awoken by what I figured was another round of 2 hour contractions. Mild, almost painless. However, this time they were really close together. Like 3-4 minutes. Still though, they were just barely there. This went on for about an hour. Then all of a sudden, there was a shift and they became really painful. Almost hard to breathe through. I went and sat in the tub for about an hour. I think if I could see the future at this point, I would have woken Brian, loaded Kaylee in the car and left for the hospital. But, I didn't. I sat in the tub for about 45 minutes. At this point, I did go get Brian. He timed the contractions for about 20 minutes before we decided we need to get going.

While he got the bags together and tried to wake up, I went and sat on my exercise ball. Ohhhh what an awful idea. Next thing I know, my water breaks. Now, panic sets in. I really thought I was going to have this baby at home. I hurried Brian along. He got Kaylee and we left for the hospital. Once we leave our neighborhood, it's pretty much all highway to the hospital. I had to gently remind him that the speed limit was 75... not 50. GOOD GRIEF MAN DRIVE! I really don't think he was fully awake yet.

I called my MIL and told her to meet us up there to get Kaylee. When we got to the hospital (7:30am), I had him drop me off at the door. There's nothing worse than having the doors locked while you are half naked with a towel between your legs screaming at security to let you in because you were in labor. The even more fun part is walking through the waiting room... UGH. I hope those people never see me again. I certainly won't remember them.

Once I got into the maternity ward, they figured out that I wasn't registered. This was BS. I have the email saying I was. WTH. There's waste of time #1. They wheeled me back to a room where the nurse had to essentially register me AGAIN. Waste of time #2. Sometime during all of this, Brian arrived to take my hand and start answering the questions so I didn't have to waste any more energy on them. I did, however start asking for drugs.

They gave me some weak ass shit that didn't do much. I specifically had asked for Stadol and the epidural. Why they gave me the other stuff is beyond me. It only gets worse from here though...

The contractions continued to get stronger and closer together. I continued to cuss, beg and cry for drugs. My doula did finally arrive, but at this point, she was just there to hold my hand... my mind was not focused properly to listen to anything she was saying. The anesthesiologist didn't arrive until after 4 phone calls later. It was 8:45am by then. She seemed to be taking her sweet time getting things lined up. I know this isn't something you want to rush, but OMG, where was she 45 minutes ago?!?

By this point, I should have refused the epi. I knew the baby was coming. I couldn't physically say that, but I could feel it. They should have checked me, even if I was refusing, to make sure that it wasn't a pointless procedure.

This is where I freaked out. I begged and cried some more. This was the worst thing I have ever been through. I wasn't mentally prepared for an unmedicated birth. I wasn't prepared for the trauma it would do to me physically. And if it hadn't been for that last contraction, I don't think I would have gone through with those last few pushes. I was frozen until then. Frozen in absolute terror.

At 9:08am, March 31st, Liam Albert made his way into this world. He weighed 6lbs 15oz and is 20.5" long.

It's now 2 days later and I still shake with anxiety. I'm a nervous wreck. But, I know deep down in the big picture, we're all ok. If I can just wrap my head around the good stuff, I'll be ok...