The Light

When this blog was started almost 5 years ago, I vowed I would not be negative on it. I have a place for that but it's private, which is good for venting all the stupid stuff I get worked up about.

This year, I have failed. Last year, life took a really hard turn downward and it was nothing I could control. No one I reached out to could or would help. And those who have offered... well, I sincerely thank you, but I didn't want to drag any of ya'll into the drama that was unfolding. I think venting here was a major cry for help even though I knew I really couldn't accept it. And I am sorry for that. I'm sorry for being vague.

Things still aren't better on that front. But, other areas of my life have calmed down. My bff (whom I rarely get to see.. who lives a mere 3 minutes from me... who is more busy with work, two small kids, a husband who is always working, all the kid's activities, the house, her on-the-side biz...) and I got together a lot the last two weeks trying to set up for a garage sale this past Saturday. We discovered something really powerful. There was no real catching up because frankly, there's just too much to share in what little time we know we have together.. so we focused on the moment.

It was glorious. We've since vowed to go out at least once a month (yes, we go MONTHS without seeing each other). We've vowed to scrap more. We've found to just touch base more. We've vowed to help keep each other from going into the depths of hell.

The last two weeks have been great. I've felt really good emotionally. And if I can stay up, I know I can make it through the trauma my family has suffered over the last 6 months.

My next fear... summer vacation officially starts for Kaylee on May 24th. I need to get organized and figure out my plan of attack beforehand.. otherwise, I fear I'll give up and let her watch Mickey Mouse all day long. I refuse to be that kind of mom.