That's it.
I'm just broken. That's all there is to it. I can't handle my kids. I can't handle my marriage. I can't handle myself. Crying is just one of the many things on my "Daily To Do List".. I'm so done with every thing and every one. Life sucks. It's lonely. I talk to a 2 year old all day who basically just yells at me. Then I talk to a 1 year old who also just yells at me, just not with actual words.
I was not meant to be a mom. Not a stay at home mom, that's for sure. I wasn't meant to be a wife either. I was meant to be a hermit, just like I was before I got married again. People don't like me and honestly, I really don't like them either. I want my career back. I want my independence back. I want my life back.
There. I said it. The ugly truth.
2 years ago
3 comments:
Ok, I really only know you through your blog, but there are a few things that I know for sure:
You are not broken. You've gone through some massive changes in the past several years, and that's going to be hard on anyone. It is OKAY to not be a stay at home mom. No one that matters is going to judge you if you need to make a change that benefits you and your sanity. If you need to get your career back, put your kids in daycare, and change things up? Do it! Your kids will be happy and well adjusted if you are. You don't have to be home with them all day to be a wonderful mother.
You ARE a good mother. You love your kids and they know that. And you might just love them more if you spend a little time away from them:) They won't always be this needy. But I totally hear you on wanting some independence back! If you have family who can watch them while you spend some time doing what you love, take them up on it.
In the meantime, let's go to the park! I'm off on Fridays and Mondays and I'm pretty sure we live reasonably close to each other. We'll get out of the house, let the kids run around and enjoy some adult interaction:)
Hang in there. You can do this.
Heh I just re-read my post and it is very obvious that I had a major PPD crack up the other day. I just got out of bed this morning after all that. Not funny, I know.. but omg am I drama at it's worst or what.. Sigh. Anyway.. I know I'm not a bad mom, but I'm struggling being essentially the only one taking care of two little kids.. I can't go back to work because of my husband... long story.
I'm in Pville. I thought you were down south? Kaylee is in school on M,W,F, but Liam and I are available mostly Mondays. He has swim on Fridays.
::hugs::
Post a Comment