General Ramble

Kaylee Update
Solids is going better now. The only thing she's completely rejected is the rice cereal.

We've tried:
* avocados
* butternut squash
* sweet potatoes
* bananas

Next on the list are:
* pears
* apples
* peas
* green beans
* zucchini
* yellow squash
* carrots

At least.. that's all I have made atm.

I'm also about to switch pediatricians. It would be one thing if my current doctor didn't constantly contradict himself, but he does. He tells me one thing, and then swears he never said that. I wish Brian could come to more of the appointments. I feel crazy when the doctor does that to me. But, if there are 2 people hearing the non-sense, then I could fight back a little easier.

For instance... Kaylee isn't really gaining weight. She's growing taller. Her head is growing. She's just putting on the ounces very slowly. Just like I did as a baby. So, the doctor told me to start her on solids - three times a day because she needs more calories. I even remember questioning why so much.

During the follow-up appointment, he told me "No, I only said two times a day." Good grief. At the 6 month check-up, he wanted to do a CBT and urinalysis. I asked, "Why are we redoing tests we just did a week and a half ago?" And, "are there other foods I can give her that will help with the calories?" That's when he said, "She isn't going to get the calories from solids. If she's not going to put on any weight, I'm going to recommend hospitalization so the nurses who know how to feed a baby can evaluate her." Wait a second.... didn't we start her on solids so she would get MORE CALORIES? My final request was to look at my medical history. His reply, "This is not because of genetics."

Ya know what I think it is? I think it's because it was January 3rd and my insurance deductible reset. This whole "let's put 'em in the hospital" junk is for the birds. There's zero reason a perfectly healthy developing baby needs to be hospitalized. The blood tests are normal. The urinalysis is normal. There's no ear infection. SHE'S JUST SMALL.

That blatant insult of "let the nurses who know how to feed a baby" was the straw that broke the camel's back, though. I have done everything he has said minus going to a lactation consultant. They are very expensive. But, my reasoning behind not going isn't only monetary, it's common sense. I have given her bottles after I have fed her. She'll take about 1/2 an ounce. She's just not hungry. She eats on demand and is happy after we're done.

Work Update
In other news, I think I might have to scale back my business. Which is sad, because I was just about to finish getting everything set up. I just don't have the energy, discipline or patience to run it and take care of Kaylee properly. While Brian and I have talked about how to make it work - none of the plans we set up have come close to being implemented. The plans have to be reliable. If not, then I'll fail. I'll fail my clients. I'll give myself a bad rep. Forget that non-sense.

I still have a lot of projects on my plate though. But, I don't think I'll be taking anything new on. It's just too much right now. This terrifies me. I paid a lot of money for my degree. I'm still paying for it. My skills are "Use it or Lose it." I'm hoping once I'm able to get back into this that I can run up to ACC and take a refresher course, then reteach myself all of my tricks.

I'm really sad. I love working. I love what I do. But, I love my daughter and being a SAHM. The decision was not easy, but in another sense, it really was. I just need to raise her into this genius doctor or lawyer so she can take care of mommy since she'll be dumbed down to rock.

Brian has started making cutting boards to sell, so that'll be nice if he can keep that up. It'll help replace the money I was bringing in anyway.

Post-Baby Weight Loss Challenge
And finally, it's time to take off that post-baby weight. That's right. POST-baby weight. I didn't really gain much during my pregnancy. But, as soon as I could eat again (38 weeks), I started packin' on the pounds. I haven't owned a scale in years. Why? Because I end up obsessing about the number. And it's already happening. I know I'm only supposed to weigh myself once a week at most. I weighed myself Monday. 140.6. I weighed myself today. 143.6. WTF?!? How did I gain 3 lbs?!?

Ugh. So, I'm going to try and stay off the scale until Monday. What am I doing to lose weight? Well, for starters, if it's nice outside, then I need to start walking again. Kaylee enjoys being outside, so this will benefit her as well. If it's NOT nice outside, then I need to go to the mall and walk around it. The problem there is that the closest nice mall is 20 minutes away. I want to walk at least 3 times a week.

The other things I want to do is drink more water. I drink it all day as is, but I don't think it's enough. So, I'm aiming for 2 more glasses than I already drink.

My last problem is food. We eat very irregularly around here. Like, some weeks we may not cook or eat dinner at all. Other times, we're both eating lunch and dinner. So, I want to start eating more regularly. We typically eat pretty healthy, so I don't think the kind of food we eat will change too much. Maybe I'll lay off all those fried mushrooms... but, they are SO GOOD. Mushrooms are good for you..... and so are eggs (in the batter).... crap. Ok, I might not give up mushrooms, but I'll try.

Until next time....